Thank you so much for trusting us with your situation. It takes courage to tell strangers about this kind of thing. You are very brave.

You are also brave to live in the family you do.

I’m gay, but I’m old.

It’s very important that your safety is assured before you come out to your family. If there a chance they will kick you out of the house, stay in the closet until you are independent.

Finish school. Go to college if you want and are able. Establish yourself as an independent adult, and then come out when their possible rejection can’t impact you as much.

Right now I suggest that you rely heavily on school friends. Be a trustworthy friend, and I hope you find trustworthy friends in return.

I promise it gets better as an out, independent adult. I live completely out, and I have a good life despite the fact my parents disowned me. I have wonderful friends who I’m extremely close to. I have a good job and a nice apartment. Life gets better.

I wish you good luck.

Nothing can help you forget you are hurt but know it’s nothing you did wrong. You are who you are. They are wrong for not accepting you. Give it time and I would suggest getting into a support group. Also, let other family members who you trust are not homophobic know. Sometimes family members will come around once they see other family members don’t have a problem with it and are being supportive. I know a family member who was homophobic and he use to scold his son when he behaved in a manner that showed he was gay. Everyone saw it but he had his head buried in the sand.

He and I had a talk one day and I told him he was being a shitty dad. He was still the same son he glowed about. The same boy he took care of when sick and adored when he showered him with kisses and hugs. What does it matter how he dresses or acts or loves. Real love doesn’t come with conditions about who the other person should be. It’s not like the kid was suddenly a mass murderer. He was being true to himself and finding his own happiness. As parents that is what we should want. Our children’s happiness. He came around and now has a very close relationship with his son.