I think there are a few of us here who grew up in dysfunctional families but rose above that to become great people. I think that’s the answer you need.

All of us have, it has directed the paths in front us in ways we will not always be willing to admit. You better believe it has power and influence over us. If it’s not taking you where you want or need it to guide you then you’ll have to go off the rails a little, take a few steps back and go down a different path. To do that you’ll need to see what bias your past influence has over the decisions you make. Some people can do this on their own, others may need help like counseling.

Where, when, and to whom one is born has a significant influence on the development of one’s expectations and behavioral patterns. Understanding the cultural inculcations that prescribed who one should be and repressed their true inclinations, and by uncovering one’s unconscious motivations and conditioned reactions, one can overcome imposed limitations.

This question restates the perennial nature versus nurture debate. Does genetics or environment play a larger role in our formation?

The answer is that it’s a mixture.

When I was growing up, I was surrounded by media and society that showed heterosexual relationships overwhelmingly. Yet, I’m still gay. That was genetics at play.

That same media and society filled me with messages stating homosexuals were undesirable and less-than. They were homophobic biases. I learned and internalized those messages, and it took many years of good therapy to overcome that nurturing.

It’s a mixture of nature and nurture.

I am sorry for that homophobia @Hawaii_Jake. (((Hugs)))

@Dutchess_III Thanks.

Eventually, yes.

The environment includes your DNA so….

Almost all your beliefs, morals and ethics are derived from active and passive indoctrination, intentional or otherwise, from parents, relatives, friends, school, the media you consume, and the society you live in as a whole.

I can tell you I’ve been thru hell and back and yes I’m a fucked up person mentally because of my environment but I am doing my best to live life and be happy. So while you can turn out a certain way due to environment, it can change.