@janbb That I can understand. I wasn’t thinking about relationships at all.
I don’t know if it relates to what you are going through, but if someone withholds their connection to me for a prolonged time and I think it’s way out of line, I never feel the same way about them again. It takes a lot to get me to that point. Then if eventually we are talking again or supposedly things are “ok” again, it’s never really ok for me. That’s sort of a numb feeling I guess.
I realize I’m in a relationship where the other person can be really horrible and punishing. It’s so hard if it’s someone who means a tremendous amount to you.
It would be one thing if they had some sort of epiphany that they had been wrong, but in my own experience it’s just that they are willing to not shut me out anymore, but it’s still full of walking on egg shells.
When it goes on for years it almost feels like don’t do me any favors ~. It doesn’t really feel like they had a change of heart, and hard to believe they really want a relationship, that’s the numb for me, it feels like they decided to give in and that they continue to want to have all the CONTROL. If it hasn’t been a very prolonged time I think it can go back to normal, but at first it’s like you’re not sure if it’s really happening. That’s my experience.
Hopefully, your relationship becomes what you want it to be and you’re just feeling cautious. A protective mechanism.