They won’t give you a hysterectomy just because you want one. You can probably get your tubes blocked.

Ask your doctor.

The only risk i see from this is that your opinion might change in the future. It is kind of getting satisfaction today by creating a problem for tomorrow, maybe a bigger one. And as i understand people change their ideas constantly as they grow. It applies to everyone. Be aware of that.

I sent you a PM with my answer, let me know what ya think.

A hysterectomy is not the same thing as a tubal ligation. A hysterectomy is an extreme surgical procedure that involves the removal of the uterus, and often also the cervix, fallopian tubes, and sometimes the ovaries, and is generally not done for the sole purpose of birth control. It can lead to immediate menopause depending on how many things are removed.

A tubal ligation, which involves cutting and cauterizing (or plugging, or tying-off) the fallopian tubes can be done for the purpose of birth control alone.

https://www.uchealth.org/today/vasectomy-vs-tubal-ligation-understanding-permanent-birth-control-options/

Thank you. I figured most would say no @SQUEEKY2

And for the record @everyone, while I understand that idea that I may change my mind… I am not the type of person that should have children. Some people would not be good parents and I am one. Not that I would ever abuse my kids, just that they would be better off with a more stable and better person as their mother.

@Kardamom thanks I will look. I know hysterectomy is extreme, since I also get debilitating periods I figured might as well kill two birds with one stone.

And I’m also in those @everyone who will say no. You’re only just 21, you’ve a lot to experience in life before you can make that kind of judgement. No one knows what will happen in the future.

Some decision are supposed to be taken after having a discussion with family member and this is one of them. I really hope you have a good talk with your parents or older sister or even close friends whoever you’re comfortable to talk with.

Usually in these types of jumpy decisions, the person regrets their action later on. I hope this will not be the case with you. Because once this is done, you cannot undo this like some computer error.

You own the right to do whatever you want with your body, but decide that after having a good talk with your parents.

Right now you’re scared but who knows in future you will want to be pregnant later on, seeing all your friends getting married and having kids.. You’ll feel left out alone. Please don’t be offended, it is not my intention to hurt anyone’s feelings and I’m just hoping you take the right decision.

If I wasn’t a severely mentally unstable alcoholic who has attempted suicide multiple times and has very, very, very little patience for dealing with children for more than a few hours, I’d agree. I know for a fact it would be a horrible home environment. Not to mention, I can’t afford it.

I say this with all seriousness, I’d sooner kill myself than commit to raising anyone’s child. Foster care is horrible and I don’t want that on my conscious.

So please, I don’t want this thread to devolve into arguments, I likely couldn’t afford the surgery anyways. I am trying to be as respectful as I can while explaining that no, this isn’t a “phase” and it is highly, highly unlikely I would change my mind.

And before anyone accuses me: I am not acting all pissy because of your answers. I figured people would tell me I’d change my mind and that’s fine. I’m explaining my disdain for the idea of motherhood and giving background for why I don’t want to be a mother.

@SergeantQueen I am firmly in the camp of those who say that if you choose to have a tubal ligation at age 21, you absolutely should have that right. Google “Childfree Friendly Doctors list” and you’ll see a link to a Reddit page that lists by state. I haven’t checked it out myself, but it was recommended to me by a friend who is an activist for this cause.

In the 80s I had to fight for years to have access to the sperm banks and infertility treatments as an educated, financially secure, woman because I was single and “might regret it”. I was even discouraged from buying a house as a single woman for the same reason.

At 21, you are legally able to enter into contracts, buy property, marry, own weapons, etc etc etc.

Yes, maybe down the line you will regret it. So what? We all make decisions we later regret.

As to the hysterectomy itself, you are less likely to find support for that, as it is an extreme solution, and a much more serious surgery, carrying greater dangers than a tubal ligation.

Start with this.
https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/doctors/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

I knew I didn“t want children before age 30. Doctors said without at least one child, they wouldn’t do it until I was older. That needs to change in my opinion.

It’s almost felt like the medical community was setting me up to fail, and have a child against my will. Luckily it pissed me off so I did everything I could to prevent a pregnancy.

With your issues, you are statistically likely to have an unwanted pregnancy, so I wish you luck in protecting yourself.

I’d caution against making permanent life decisions while you’re suffering from mental illness (and I suspect doctors would have similar concerns). I’ve gone through an extremely dark period in my life at one point and am very glad I didn’t make any permanent decisions at the time that would affect me now. For me, my concern isn’t your age but the fact that your judgement and assessment of what you want may be affected by a condition that could change in the future.

That said, you’re an adult, and I support your right to make decisions about your body and reproductive health. Tubal ligation makes a lot more sense than hysterectomy though.

Just a warning, from what I understand, hysterectomy not only changes your moods in a drastic way (due to the homonal changes) but changes your vagina because the muscles of the uterus hold the vagina together in a certain way. I have not had a hysterectomy but I have heard about the vagina thing – try googling it. If you love sex like you say, it may change the way it feels for you and for the other person.

I haven’t read this yet but did some googling for you:

https://www.thehealthsite.com/diseases-conditions/ways-in-which-your-body-will-change-after-hysterectomy-k0217-468403/

@SergeantQueen I would pass on the Hysterectomy and aim for theTubal ligation.

My guess is that most would surgeons would try to dissuade you if not just refuse unless there is a medical reason, like a family history ovarian/uterine cancer.

Doctor wouldn’t want to open himself up to a lawsuit in the future, if you decide you’re unhappy with the permanency of it. You could sue and say you were mentallly unbalanced or under duress, and he’d be in court, even if you’d lose. Easier for a doctor just to say no to it.

^^^ Which is why I posted that list.

My sincerest apologies, @canidmajor, I didn’t read the list.

I am not trying to be mean or anything but a great deal of women would feel different later in life, you meet your Prince Charming and he is hell bent on having children you could feel different at that point.
I knew that I didn’t want children from a very early age, and Mrs Squeeky was fine with it.
BUT until you are in a long term relationship insist your sexual partners wear a condom,and there are spermicide lubricants for extra protection,and enjoy life I bet you will get what you want by the time you are in your late twenties early thirties.

@SQUEEKY2 I have known many women who regretted having children. Not that they were bad mothers, they weren’t, but they felt that they were somehow coerced into it, and their lives would have been different in a positive way had they opted out of child bearing. I have also known many women who chose to be childfree, and only one even vaguely, and only on a couple of occasions, regretted not having children.

With all due respect, your post is paternalistic and a bit condescending. Believe me, if @SergeantQueen pursues this idea, she will, even in this day and age, be inundated with people saying exactly what you just said. Even the physicians who are Childfree Friendly will likely subject her to intensive interviews, and maybe a gentle psych eval. None of this could happen overnight, and there is enough that goes into it that there would be no “did it on a whim” kind of feel to it.

Even if some people here feel she is not mature enough to make this decision, for pete’s sake, have enough respect to treat her like the adult that she legally is. The whole system will be difficult and expensive, I feel that support is more important here.

And, @SergeantQueen, talk to your GYN about very lightweight hormone based medication to alleviate period distress.

Yeah, as I said I likely can’t afford any type of operation at the moment. Just testing the waters right now.

“I also get debilitating periods” get checked out for Fibrioids as that was one sympton that I had experienced and it was discovered that I had Fibroids. ( had them removed one day procedure..a coupe of days pain up to a week then OK).

Years ago I had a tubal ligation….......best thing for me then ( age 29).
Better than birth control , or a pregnancy.

There might be money from various sources to help you get the tubal ligation. Maybe your state has a fund, or there might be a charity organization. It’s much cheaper for the state to prevent pregnancies then to pay for children.

Have you tried using an IUD?

I never wanted kids, never had them and never regretted it @SQUEEKY2. I like kids, like other peoples kids, but never was maternalistic.
I wish there had been more choices for me back when I was 21 that is now available to SQ. Good luck in making your decisions come true @SQ. It will be one less thing to have to worry about.

The thought of inserting an IUD makes me too squimish

I need to get it tested anyways, I thought it was endo but idk

What @SQUEEKY2 said is hard to hear but societal pressure is real, even for men. Although we chose not to have kids both our families and friends were in disbelief for a long time and even his brother’s joked about it happening whether we wanted it to or not.

@SQUEEKY2 did not address the social pressure plight of the childfree in his post, @KNOWITALL, he just said what so many do, “I don’t think you are able to make your own decision because you are a young woman, let us older men guide your silly, not-very-bright self.”

@canidmajor I took it as good-natured dad advice, as she is very young.

“Good natured dad advice” is only appropriate from a dad, and she is old enough to do all those things I mentioned above.

Can tubal ligations be reversed?

@Dutchess_III My ex sister-in-law got a tubal ligation and got pregnant. So, I’m betting that if there can be a malfunction, it can be reversed. I’m not a doctor and really don’t know the first thing about reversals.

@Dutchess_III Even if reversal isn’t feasible, the ovaries are still producing eggs, and the uterus is still viable. The eggs can be harvested and fertilized in vitro, then implanted. Thus, tubal ligation does not have to be a permanent sterilization.

I’m just thinking tubal ligation is her best bet. They fail less than 2% of the time.
I think a Dr. would be more open to that than a hysterectomy.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/hysterectomy-side-effects
Maybe read up on the effects of having a Hysterectomy at an early age mean.

Also I would think that it would place the persons body in the same realm as a Menopause women, and with the results of having that.
One would have to take pills ( Estrogen daily ) plus other drugs, creams etc

@Inspired_2write I was told that as long as you keep your ovaries the hormones keep on flowing.

@canidmajor
I don’t know I never had a Hysterectomy.