Could be a pettern that is engrained in their family .
Controlling parent,contolling spouse.
Break that pattern and free oneself, usually takes until middle age to really understand that the past engrained them to accept a controlling partner.
In my case my now Ex was charming and lovable UNTIL I married him.
He controlled everything, finiances, the household etc until I filed for Divorce and never looked back.
Also times were differnt where the husband handled finances and wife had to ask permission to have an account ( denied by husband).
Until the womens movement changed all that and gave us freedom to handle our own lives .
Apparently HE had a contoling mother thus he vowed NEVER to be controlled by a women
and hence he became too contolling.( insecure)
Yes there are patterns in families that we unknowlingly follow.