@janbb We did that in Nashville. He rented an apartment. It did not relieve any of the ongoing problems, and we missed out on the steep climb of the housing market too. The timing has been a nightmare for us. I feel like it has to be different this time to hope it will be better. We have to try something different.
I feel like I have to let him do whatever right now, we have been too unhappy.
@RayaHope We used to be very united when it came to career and moving to new cities, but several things happened the last ten years that greatly disrupted it.
My husband was laid off. Then we owned a business and it was a rough time in every way. During this time my husband sold his race car and stopped doing what he loves. He shouldn’t have!
I have ongoing health problems that for years have been a sad situation for my marriage.
We had a chance to build a house that would have made us both happy and we chickened out because of the precarious job situation. We should have built the house, we will NEVER have the same opportunity again for that house where we live. I’m still full of regret about it. I don’t think my husband would have even taken these jobs out of state if we had that house. Maybe he still would have I don’t know.
This recent job he feels like he finally got back the position he was laid off from. He’s a VP again making a salary that he is accustomed to. He didn’t care if the net amount would be less because of taxes and living in two places, he needed to do it to prove something to himself. That ego crap is annoying. That he has a very expensive hobby is annoying.
I see marriages break up, and a lot of the time it is because instead of spouses making each other’s life easier they make each other’s life harder. At this moment in time I can’t be the person keeping him from doing what he wants to do. What he needs to do to feel good. I just need to find my own way to feel good.
What he ideally wants is for me to just be on board and move to NC with him. He’s not trying to be away from me; we just have different fears and different goals right now. I think he is making a mistake, but I could be wrong. I hope I’m wrong.