Social Question

Demosthenes's avatar

Men: how have you handled rejection in the past?

Asked by Demosthenes (14478points) August 19th, 2022
16 responses
“Great Question” (5points)

I’ve sometimes heard from women that they fear rejecting a man because of how he might react. I’m sure that there are men out there who feel entitled to a relationship or sex for showing interest in a woman and if she rejects him, he can become violent. But a lot of what I encounter is told from the woman’s perspective. I want to hear from the men here: have you ever been enraged by rejection? How have you usually reacted to it?

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Answers

Blackwater_Park's avatar

With alarming regularity, to the point of: “I guess won’t bother wasting time with that anymore.” I just started letting them come to me after the age of 18 or so. Suddenly, that’s when I found real relationships that worked.

I was never enraged by rejection, it was my baseline. Certainly did not feel entitled. I will say that how a woman handled that rejection made me either glad that was the answer or made me want to be friends with them. In that situation women have a tremendous power over men and how they wield it tells me exactly what they’re really like.

elbanditoroso's avatar

I mostly agree with @Blackwater_Park – if the woman decided what she decided, I’m not going make arguments, because she isn’t going to listen anyway. So I move on – and more than once she has come back weeks or months later and said she made a mistake. Tough beans, – you made your choice.

I have never been enraged. Confused, insulted, gobsmacked – yes. But enraged? Never – not worth the effort.

But I’m saying this from the vantage point of being in my 60s. My response was different 40 years ago.

kritiper's avatar

I considered the source and then went home.

canidmajor's avatar

@kritiper I don’t know what you mean.

kritiper's avatar

@canidmajor I figured the person who rejected me wasn’t my type for who knows what kind of reasons, and that her problem wasn’t really me. And that made me feel better no matter if it was me or not. After all, I have to live with myself.

canidmajor's avatar

@kritiper Thanks for clearing that up. It sounded infinitely worse without context.

rebbel's avatar

Rejecting an invitation to drink a coffee?
For a relationship (after dating a while)?
Rejection to the question?

Demosthenes's avatar

@rebbel Any rejection. If you reacted differently to different types, go ahead and explain.

Zaku's avatar

hmmmmmm

Zaku's avatar

Aw crud. I wrote a great answer to this, but it was an edit, and the time limit wore off… another one lost to a web browser.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

When I was younger I thought that something was wrong with me when I was rejected, by a girl or job or school/university . Now I see it as a blessing so I don’t end up with somewhere incompatible. Just I would like to have feed back for future reference, and not just being ghosted.

Blackberry's avatar

I’ve asked women out and got rejected. I was mostly embarrassed and ashamed, which is why you sometimes get men that never make a move.

I’m in the camp now that thinks a woman needs to make some sort of effort to show a specific man she likes him so he can reciprocate.

Nomore_Tantrums's avatar

Nothing to cry in my beer about. That’s the way the ball bounces. Make another plan Stan.

Nomore_Tantrums's avatar

I never felt like women had any obligation to date me or anyone else. I mean at the end of the day it’s thier call anyway. In my day if I asked a lady out and she was game for it , then great. If not, adios amigo / catch ya on the flip flop. Just never was a big whoop to me, it happens to all of us.

gondwanalon's avatar

I joined a dating club. When a woman rejected me it was AOK. I just went out with another women. I kept doing that until I found a woman who enjoyed my company and wanted to be with me. I married her and have been married to her for 32 years now. The best 32 years of my life.

seawulf575's avatar

When I was young it bothered me…left me with feelings of confusion and inadequacy. As I got older and realized my own worth, I took rejection more levelly. Some women believed I wasn’t good enough for them which told me how self-centered they were. Some just didn’t feel the chemistry and I respected that entirely. Either way, I certainly didn’t let it bother me.

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