I often wish I didn’t have to eat only because it’s annoying to always have to plan what I’m going to eat, when I’m going to cook it, etc. It’s exhausting.

I hate to be one of those people who diagnoses and gives unsolicited advice online, but I just want to warn you about the risk of eating disorders. You’re young, and not wanting to eat in order to maintain current weight is a sure path to a serious eating disorder (or a symptom). I would a) definitely talk to someone about these concerns, and b) try to shift from looking at food as a poison that leads to gaining weight to a path to health.

Only because probably my weight and health would be so much better if I didn’t enjoy the flavor or use food when I’m bored or lonely.

When I was young (under 16) I only ate when I was truly hungry and never wanted a bite more. I never denied myself food nor did I use it in any way. I consider this my most normal time in my life in relation to consuming food.

From 16–25 I still was doing pretty well only eating when I was hungry but had learned to tolerate overeating. My boyfriend made fun of a portion I had served myself and I learned to eat more. By the way he was overweight and his mom very overweight. This was an unfortunate turning point.

By my 30’s feeling overfill became normal. Not good. I was eating a lot of restaurant food because of my job, and I packed on some more weight.

I decided to post this here (PM to hat)
No please don’t be sorry, I have been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa a few years ago. I have been trying to overcome it but secretly inside I still feel that way. I despise eating and would stop again completely if I could get away with it. My mom watches me too close at times but I do have ways of hiding things sometimes. I don’t want to get diabetes or other problems heavy people get. I like to look good and extra fat is not a good look. I do appreciate your concern though, I’m still 105 pounds but want to get below 100.

Not that I recall.

Yes. In university I spent a whole week in the computer lab on an Essay on “The Importance of Being Earnest” I only went out of the lab to eat and use the washroom. I even skipped showers. Eating got in the way of my homework.

In the end I received a grade of 65%. Second highest in the class. I had 19 typos. : (

First, I’m so sorry, as I know this struggle is not as simple as some people make it out to be (“Just eat!”). Believe me when I tell you that I know that our mind can be our own worst enemy.

But if you’d indulge me for a minute, maybe I can provide you with a perspective that may or may not make a difference. First, it’s important to understand that fat serves a healthy purpose. There are reasons why we’ve evolved to store fat. Second, if you are concerned that if you have fat that you will not be attractive and it will hurt your romantic prospects, your career outlook, and your friendships, you need to understand that there is nothing further from the truth.

People find health and happiness attractive. I don’t know how many times I have heard women complain that men only like skinny women. And when you ask who it is that is providing this pressure to stay thin, it invariably turns out to be their female friend group. Yet I have never known a man who finds a woman without fat to be attractive. The reality is that some women find it important to attract men who find women who look like teenagers attractive. Not only is this a self-fulfilling prophesy – you’re basically casting a line in hopes to catch men with some of the most disgusting and toxic personalities available. Red flags.

What people find attractive is when someone is healthy and happy. Skinny is not healthy. It can be for a very small percentage of the population. But overall, there is a wide range of body types and fat distribution that can be found on a healthy person.

I only rambled on about attractiveness to potential romantic partners because I think some people are too quick to dismiss concerns people have about finding a mate. They say, “don’t worry about what people think!”, without considering that a happy, healthy life does usually involve being able to find partners. And I just want to impress on you that if you are at all concerned about being able to find a partner, it’s critical that you understand that any partner that is worth having is one that will find you at your most attractive when you are healthy and happy. And fat is healthy.

Yes, it gets inconvenient. On the other hand food tastes wonderful.

Just to echo @hat’s point, too skinny is unattractive.

I had good friends in middle and high school who were ballerinas. Their ballet instructor (I think it was a woman) was constantly calling them pigs, and these poor girls were skinny. I can’t imagine what kind of monster would fuck with a young girl’s mind like that—especially when she’s going through puberty and dealing with all kinds of changes in her body and social pressures. They all had eating disorders as a result.

I can’t pretend to understand how it must feel to be a woman and have so much of your perceived worth in society be associated with your looks. I get it, but I will never LIVE IT like you ladies have to. All I can say is that too skinny is not attractive, and generally I find women who might be a few pounds overweight to be more attractive than a woman a few pounds underweight. Gaunt, frail, tired, meek isn’t sexy—to me (and pretty much every guy I’ve ever known) at least.

Best wishes to you. I’m sorry you have to struggle with this.

I basically agree with @hat in a general geometric sense, that when it comes to the human anatomy, convex is more appealing than concave.

To rephrase the above, I find female athletes to be more attractive than female skeletons.

@RayaHope

▼

“I’m still 105 pounds but want to get below 100.”

As I recall, you said that you’re 5“5” tall.
IMO, you’re already underweight at 105. I’d say that 120 is generally a healthy weight for your height.
Rather than take my word for it though, consult with your doctor about this.

@RayaHope I’m sorry that you struggle with an eating disorder. I hope you are getting good help from a therapist and a doctor. Are you?

Please be extremely cautious with what is shared here on the internet. None of these people are qualified to help you. We all have sincere empathy for you, but none of us can help like a therapist or doctor.

@Hawaii_Jake: “but none of us can help like a therapist or doctor.”

Very much this!

When I was a kid I felt that way. I still ate but I didn’t really enjoy it. It was a pain to think about and prepare food. I didn’t like doing dishes.
All that changed when I reached 19 or 20. Now I look forward to meals and must control myself so I don’t pig out.

No.

I want dinner and a movie first, then breakfast the next morning – because I’m not a whore. And neither are you so don’t confuse everyone by not eating ;P

Seriously, if you’ve been diagnosed with anorexia you’ve already heard from medical professionals and you know it’s a serious condition – even life threatening. So don’t fool yourself that your attitude and eating habits are healthy.

Everyone on this thread is trying to give you their best advice, but the people you should really pay attention to are your doctors, your mom, and that voice inside your own head that tells you that you’re beautiful and life is good.

If you want to do anything fun or worthwhile – Dancing, sports, work – you need to respect your body and give it what it needs to stay healthy. That includes food.

DON’T SCREW THIS UP ENSIGN TRENDY. I’m watchin’ you… 0_0

I just knew when I read this I would lose it. I have heard my doctors and therapist and I try real hard to obey them but it is so hard to do…I’m fighting myself and I love you all for your concern and I won’t to get better. Why is it so hard to do? I just want to be good and normal. I’m trying so much to do the right things. I think there might be something wrong with my brain, I know what to do but find it so hard to not do things that I should do.

Okay, okay wait this, I can DO THIS! I will do what they tell me no matter how much I resist. Isn’t that what they say in Star Trek “resistance is futile” I’m gonna try extra hard from now on.

@RayaHope

“I have heard my doctors and therapist and I try real hard to obey them but it is so hard to do…”

I think I understand how you feel about that- I was in therapy for almost 20 years before I eventually overcame my general anxiety disorder.
I’m sure it won’t take you that long. I didn’t go to a therapist until I was 31, so my GAD had decades to set.

I don’t think you have to try so hard to overcome it, because putting that much pressure on yourself might generate counterproductive anxieties.
It’ll probably take more than a few sessions to feel better and be in a @JLoon state of mind. ;) So please give yourself some time to get there.

^^ I want to be like her SO BAD! She is amazing and down-to-Earth and smart and okay I’ll stop. I will overcome this somehow.

When I get a little manic I don’t want to eat and will only eat when my stomach hurts, and even then just enough to shut it up. But luckily I don’t get manic very often.

Aside from that, sometimes I get tired of chewing and want to quit eating. It’s a “ok-let’s-eat-this-and-get-it-done-with-so-I-can-do-something-else-or-less boring” kind of thing.

@RayaHope I want to be like her SO BAD!

You’re working yourself right into a mental illness if that’s the way you think. Seriously. Stop those thoughts as soon as they appear. You don’t want to go down the road that so many other people go down because they think they’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, popular enough…you fill in the blank. And no “buts” or excuses. Just don’t do it. It’s not easy, but it is simple.

@RayaHope – The real motto is : “Per Aspera, Ad Astra” – Through Hardships, To the Stars

@smudges Okay I’ll try I really want to get better. I need to calm down and relax, I get too worked up and I know this is bad for me. I WANT CONTROL! When you say STOP it helps me focus and stop. Take a deep breath and close my eyes. breathe breathe
@JLoon God you are so smart.

@JLoon

“I want to be like her SO BAD!”

I didn’t mean that you should try to be like her, just that you should strive to reach a state of mind where you’re happy with yourself.

@smudges, and @Brian1946 – I’d like to be more like myself too, but it’s not as easy as I make it look ;)

@RayaHope You could get a bracelet, leather, metal, doesn’t matter, that simply says “Breathe”. Don’t take it off and look at it frequently. If it’s leather, take it off for water.

(and nope, not easy, I know from experience. But entirely worth it)

@JLoon

“I’d like to be more like myself too, but it’s not as easy as I make it look.”

True, sometimes I forget how hard life can be in the modeling trenches. ;)

@smudges That is a WONDERFUL IDEA!!!!!!! I’m gonna DO THAT! :)

^^Coooool! I have one and it helped me through a rough time.

Another year, my therapist told me to go out and buy the biggest teddy bear I could afford. It was about 3 feet tall and I had it about 20 years. It was still in good shape so I gave it to the little grandson of a neighbor.

@Brian1946 – I joke.

I should probably eat more serious food.

@smudges I do have a big teddy bear on my bed every night. He is so comfy I use him as a pillow sometimes when I’m being silly.

@JLoon “I should probably eat more serious food.” That would surely be better than eating more of Syria’s food.

Could you check into protein shakes so you can have 2 a day as meals? Its so much easier for me.
They have veggie shakes too for your vitamins. May be easier for you, maybe ask your docs.
I’m 5’5” and 160lbs in a medium size tshirt and size 12 pants. My doc said @150lbs is where I need to be.

My sister worked with eating disorder patients for 15 years. It is a vicious disease. My heart goes out to you. I urge you to honestly discuss your weight goals with your therapist.

To answer your question, I was once hospitalized for several months, my body not healing after surgery. The medications killed my appetite. I lost a good deal of weight and had to make a determined effort to eat so that my body could heal. This was not eating disorder related, but i know the feeling of not wanting food. It was so strange, because really take a lot of pleasure from cooking and eating.

@kruger_d I try really hard to do the things I’m told to do. I find it difficult to go against my instincts, it’s not a “choice” for me more like that is just how it is. I can’t describe what I mean very well.

@RayaHope “I can’t describe what I mean very well.”

Tell someone to write a letter with their non-dominant hand. Tell them to “just try harder” when they struggle.

We’re all wired differently and have different strengths and weaknesses. It’s part of what makes humanity interesting. @JLoon is 100% right that you should be speaking to your mom and your doctors about these issues. We can offer our support and cheer you on, but we’re not qualified to treat you. And this IS a serious LIFE/DEATH condition that may be impacting your ability to concentrate and learn as well.

@gorillapaws I will I promise. I love you guys for supporting me. I know THIS really helps a lot.

Just chiming in to agree with what everyone else has already said. The person you need to talk to is your therapist. But we are here to cheer you on!

I both love and hate eating.

Food is amazing and there’s so much to explore and appreciate. Yet at the same time, having to eat is such a nuisance.

Thank you @raum I’m trying real hard to do what I’m told.

Well, you’ve got a bunch of jellies cheering you on. :)

You can do it! (Not easy. And maybe not even right away. But you can do this!)

^^ I appreciate that SO MUCH!!!! (((HUGS)))

Some days but only because I’m tired of trying to find something quick and easy and delicious to eat. I hate eating just to eat but unfortunately, our bodies need nutrition. Just like we have to shower or we stink, or we need to exercise or we get weak or need to sleep or we can’t function. It seems the only thing that isn’t a chore is breathing. Maybe if I had a cook who could make whatever I wanted it wouldn’t feel much like a chore.
But worrying about the calories in food isn’t something I consciously do anymore. I use to worry about all kinds of things. Cholesterol, fat, sugar and calories and slowly my body naturally started to reject things my body can’t tolerate so I just stay away from a lot of things that are not good for me because they upset my stomach and acid reflux is no joke.
So eating has become less enjoyable. My advice is so long as you are at a good weight for your height, don’t worry so much about calories. Worry more about what damages certain foods can do long run.
Greasy and fatty food or high sodium and sugar. Cholesterol, acid reflux, diabetes, and high blood pressure. But with your condition, you cannot afford to skip meals so just find the right ones that can keep you strong an healthy.

I am trying so hard to do this @Pandora I feel like I’m not quite to my ideal weight yet but I’m getting close. I do want to get better so I’ll keep trying.

No, I like to eat. I just don’t like how expensive it is.