Social Question

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Do you have some tips on being more charismatic?

Asked by RedDeerGuy1 (23482points) September 23rd, 2022
15 responses
“Great Question” (3points)

Like not thinking that everything is about me ? Or having to tell a tale of how I can relate, (or one up), to the story that one just told me?

Can you recommend a book or YouTube video?

What have you learned, the easy way, or the hard way?

Or am I fine?

Derived from the Dungeons and Dragons ability score list

1 (–5): Barely conscious, incredibly tactless and non-empathetic
2–3 (–4): Minimal independent thought, relies heavily on others to think instead
4–5 (–3): Has trouble thinking of others as people
6–7 (–2): Terribly reticent, uninteresting, or rude
8–9 (–1): Something of a bore or makes people mildly uncomfortable
10–11 (0): Capable of polite conversation
12–13 (1): Mildly interesting, knows what to say to the right people
14–15 (2): Interesting, knows what to say to most people
16–17 (3): Popular, receives greetings and conversations on the street
18–19 (4): Immediately likeable by many people, subject of favorable talk
20–21 (5): Life of the party, able to keep people entertained for hours
22–23 (6): Immediately likeable by almost everybody
24–25 (7): Renowned for wit, personality, and/or looks

Humor welcome

Where on the chart above would you rank yourself? Or me? Or famous people? Including politicians and celebrities ?

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LadyMarissa's avatar

For YOU…24–25 (7): Renowned for wit, personality, and/or looks except I have NO clue how you look; but in MY mind, you’re a fine looking fella!!!

For me…10–11 (0): Capable of polite conversation although I don’t show that side of me all that often!!!

filmfann's avatar

I was born without a filter on what I say, so people who talk to me leave thinking either I am a genius or brain damaged.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

@filmfann ~I am better from my untreated h. h. h. ead injury’s.

I had my share of untreated concussions Yes! thanks for sharing! GA!

It’s not about me. It’s not about me. I will not one up @filmfann .

Nomore_Tantrums's avatar

Me: 8–9 (-1) Something of a bore, or makes people mildly uncomfortable. Probably because of my political views. Which I have no problem expressing with the wrong people. Lol And there are a buttload of them in Texas.

LadyMarissa's avatar

@Nomore_Tantrums Of all the things I’ve thought about you, “boring” & “uncomfortable” have NEVER entered my mind!!!

KNOWITALL's avatar

12–13 is my bailiwick. I prefer to be around interesting people but like the shadows. (That’s from being the youngest in a boisterous Irish home.)

You 16–17. :)

HP's avatar

Never mind the game. In real life, it is difficult to separate actual charisma from access to a pile of money and a capacity for generating more. This is particularly enhanced should there be an overall perception (real or imagined) of a willingness to spread it around. In either case, the effects are indistinguishable. Those with true charisma can be depended on to wind up with the money anyway, so what’s the difference. The thing which puzzles me is with the invariable presumption that the term charismatic renders those designated obligated (or for that matter equipped and eager) to strap on the yoke of leadership.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

@HP Like the second “golden rule”. “He who owns the gold makes the rules?”
Based on “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.

I’m breaking even, and am going to slowly save little bits in a month or two. I am grateful that I started saving before the Covid, and inflation. If I didn’t, I would be in a dire predicament.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

@RedDeerGuy1 It’s not about me. It’s not about me.

Nomore_Tantrums's avatar

@LadyMarissa Thanks for the kind words.

LadyMarissa's avatar

@Nomore_Tantrums The truth is the truth!!!

gorillapaws's avatar

I try to connect with each person on a human level. I was raised to always address someone wearing a name tag by their name and to look them in the eyes: “Thank you Chris, I really appreciate it. I hope you have a great afternoon.” to the guy ringing me up at the grocery store. He’s not a robot; he’s a human and Chris should be addressed by his name and treated with a sincere respect while he helps me with my groceries.

Ask people about themselves and then try to connect in a way that lifts them up. Or complement them on something they’re wearing: “those earrings are snazzy” or “that’s a cool purse. I’m always on the look out for great gift ideas for my wife/sister/mother, mind if I ask where you got it?”

KNOWITALL's avatar

@gorillapaws It shows, even online. Thoughtful was the descriptor I’d use.

Blackberry's avatar

I’ve been told I have charisma a few times, and “something other guys don’t have”.
I think this just comes from a naturally good attitude and a half glass full outlook, along with a good sense of wanting adventure and fun with other people. Basically every time you go out should have some decent to positive memory instead of a fight or mood killer.

This can require discipline and restraint, because you can’t argue or fight everyone, even if they make bad comments or racist/sexist jokes.

Act like sad, angry people don’t bother you, and keep the environment lighthearted. Change the subject to something more positive if someone goes on rant, after quickly acknowledging their terrible view and move on.

Take the time to look everyone in the eyes and read body language, facial expressions, and stay within the mood without lowering it.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Recognise the good in all people,even if you have to dig deep for an observation.

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