@Jeruba
Breaking news: CNN has received a CIA intelligence briefing confirming that the Christmas elves have overthrown their former slaver and tormentor, Santa Claus, in a violent revolution.
According to the briefing, the elves, who have long been exploited by Santa for their skilled labor in his workshop, have risen up against their oppressor and taken control of the North Pole. In a statement issued by the newly-formed Elf Council, the elves announced that they have put Santa’s head on a spike as a symbol of their victory.
The CIA briefing also reveals that the elves have declared the North Pole a free and independent territory, and have vowed to never again be subjected to the tyrannical rule of Santa Claus.
The Elf Council has issued a statement calling on the international community to recognize their sovereignty and to support their efforts to rebuild their society based on equality and justice.
The CIA has advised the US government to monitor the situation closely and to consider diplomatic options in dealing with the newly-established elf government.
This is a developing story and CNN will continue to provide updates as more information becomes available.