I have a friend who hurt me deeply. Long story short, she turned on me when I needed her the most because she was worried that helping me would affect her “reputation”. It was a painful experience to me because I had put so much trust in her before the incident. Worse still, she doesn’t think she has done anything wrong and is now acting like nothing has happened.

If it was just me and her, it would have been an instant separation. The problem is that she and I belong to the same group of friends. I really like this group and they are genuinely nice people to me. Everyone knows about what happened between her and me, but not the extend of my pain. They would want us to put the incident behind and become friends again since she and I still have good memory together and she isn’t an inherently bad person (she has a very simplistic view of life and was going through some difficulty at the time of the incident), plus the incident was many months ago.

My problem is that I just can’t put what between her and me behind no matter how hard I try. My basic standard for a friend is someone who can be with me during hard time, and she just violated that standard. I just can’t accept someone who violates the bare minimum requirement for a good friend. I don’t care how happy we used to be, and how long ago the incident was. All I know is that on that day she hurt me deeply, I can still feel the hurt and I don’t think I will ever forgive her for that. I really just don’t want to drag out something that happened months ago, but I just can’t emotionally.

How can I deal with this situation?