Fluther: How come you never hate the people you should be hating?

How come you never hate the people you should be hating?

Asked by Panamera556 (92

) January 21st, 2023
12 responses
“Great Question” (1

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It’s so easy to let go of people who just slightly hurt you. But when someone you love truly hurts you, it is very rarely I find it easy to immediately hate that person, or at least let go. I still decide to see the good in them, despite all proof that this good is more of a fake image I have created of them. How do you explain it?

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Topic: letting go

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Answers

I do my best to NEVER “hate” anyone!!! What I “hate” the most is “having to” let them go!!! As I matured, I found that holding on to someone who wanted NOTHING to do with me was harder on my well being than simply giving in & letting them go!!! It doesn’t have to mean that I stop caring for them. It just means that I’ve ACCEPTED “their” lack of desire for me. I don’t have to like it to accept it!!!

LadyMarissa (16097

)“Great Answer” (3

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@Panamera556 If you find the answer PLEASE let me know! I keep struggling with the same thing. In fact I just asked a question along the same vein as this a little while ago. I know it’s stupid of me to hold on to but it’s just that we developed such a rapport and it’s hard to let go. :(

RayaHope (7448

)“Great Answer” (1

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It’ll fade.

Dutchess_III (46828

)“Great Answer” (1

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Seem to be a lot of young folks on here today with lovey dovey problems. I’m long past all that at my age. I’m more concerned about Putin going bonkers and nuking the Ukraine.

NoMore (3231

)“Great Answer” (1

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^ I can’t help that this seems like a big problem to me, it messes with my head too much :(

RayaHope (7448

)“Great Answer” (2

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@RayaHope I understand. Just kidding anyway, I’m a knucklehead. No offense intended.

NoMore (3231

)“Great Answer” (0

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{{{HUGS}}} @NoMore :D

RayaHope (7448

)“Great Answer” (1

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Thanks! Back atcha! @RayaHope

NoMore (3231

)“Great Answer” (2

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I hate everybody.

kritiper (25757

)“Great Answer” (2

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Hate is a waste of time and energy. Kick back with a cold one and be happy.

NoMore (3231

)“Great Answer” (2

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With someone you don’t know or don’t know well, when they do something to hurt you, you are not emotionally invested with that person so you can get angry very easily with them and “hate” them. When someone you love hurts you, it is someone you know, someone you have a close relationship with. There are many more events in your life with that person to throw into the mix of how you feel about that person. One aw-shit can wipe out a whole lot of atta-boy’s, but with someone you love, there are a whole lot of atta-boys. So you give that person more forgiveness that you do the other.

It’s called forgiveness, not approval. But forgiveness is not really about the other person, it is about you. When you hate someone, there are a whole lot of negative emotions involved with that. And those emotions hurt you a whole lot. They can destroy you as a person. Forgiveness is the way we deal with people that bring on those emotions. We don’t accept what they did or approve of it, but when we forgive, we are saying “I’m not giving you anymore power over me. Your actions are no longer going to tear up my life.” You can then move on and get over the negatives that are eating at you.

seawulf575 (16676

)“Great Answer” (1

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There is no one I “should” be hating.

SnipSnip (6793

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How come you never hate the people you should be hating?

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