@daloon I thought that might be the case, which is why I mentioned it. I think you missed my point about the friend thing and how to work it. You don’t think what your friend might think of those actions, you put your friend in your place.
Let’s saying you are beating yourself up because you went to a party and several of your conversations with people felt awkward. So, you are going, “You dolt! I can’t believe you said such stupid things! No wonder they wouldn’t keep talking to you. etc.”
Now, imagine your good friend goes to the party and says the same things you did and gets the same reaction. He then tells you about it. I am guessing you might say to your friend something more like, “Listen, bud, everybody feels awkward meeting new people at parties. It was no big deal. There’ll be another party. The fact that they moved on probably had nothing to do with you.”
So, what I am saying is that if there is a big difference between what you would say to friend about something that happened and what you would say to yourself in the same situation, you are not being objective, you are dealing with self hatred and heavy negative self talk. Break the cycle!