My grandmother, who babysat for me a lot when I was little, didn’t drive so she took the bus and train. She taught me, when we’d take the bus and subway to NYC, that if for some reason we got separated, not to go walking around looking for her. Stay in one spot otherwise she’d never find me. That’s great advice for anyone, except now with cell phones it’s a little different.
I took the bus and trains to NYC on my own since around age 13 or 14. Nobody taught me any “rules” except not to look at people (which is very important because in NYC, people may not will but may, take that as a threat or take it that you’re interested in them). Nobody taught me to move to the back of the bus when people got on, but it is common sense and common courtesy and the bus drivers used to say it. Now the bus drivers don’t say anything like that because in NYC they’re getting punched and spit on and all sorts of things. Nobody taught me to move my bag from the seat if there are people looking for a seat, it’s common sense and courteous. If I’m looking for a seat and someone has a bag on the seat next to them, I will ask them to move the bag.
A big thing on trains now is to not be yelling into your cell phone. The train to NYC has “quiet cars” where you’re not supposed to be on the phone at all, or very limited. Not all cars are quiet cars. It’s because after a long day at work, or in the early morning when people are tired, nobody wants to have to listen to someone else’s conversation.
On elevators, sometimes men will stand back and let me off first. I just go with the flow. If they don’t, it’s fine, whatever works.
On planes, when getting off the plane, it’s best when the people in the front get off first, otherwise there’s chaos but there’s no set rule about it. There was a post in a column on FB recently, where a woman said someone rushed to the front of the plane when it landed and she told the person her “rule” and gave them a stare-down, and she was apparently very proud of herself. Some people said who are you to set the rules, or how do you know the person didn’t have to make a flight connection or have to go to the bathroom badly or any number of things. I don’t fly too often and I find flying to be a big PITA.