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jonsblond's avatar

Was this fate? Something else?

Asked by jonsblond (43834points) 3 weeks ago
12 responses
“Great Question” (4points)

I’ll try to make a long story short.

Last fall my elderly father had a series of falls that could have been serious but he survived with moderate injuries. He was living alone. In November we decided he needed to move to be near one of his daughters. He needed to sell his house first. His house sold after being on the market for only four days. Closing date was scheduled for mid January. During this time I found an independent senior apartment for my father near me. His move in date was the same as closing for his house.

Mid December I was injured at work and put on disability for at least six months. I had nerve injury to my left arm and hand, luckily not my dominant hand.

During this time I have been able to spend time with my father and get him settled without needing to take time off of work. My circumstances were unfortunate but I feel blessed in a way to have this time to help my father.

Was this fate? Coincidence? Something else?

Who sells their home in four days?! How lucky was he!

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filmfann's avatar

This was a blessing!

LifeQuestioner's avatar

It’s funny how things work out, whether you believe it was God’s providence or luck. (I believe in the first.) Not long before my dad had to go into long-term care permanently, and my mom was going to be in the house alone, I lost my full-time job. Not a good thing, obviously, but I made it through the 5 months before I found a part-time job. At that point my lease was almost up so my mom asked me if I wanted to move in with her, which I took her up on. She had taken a few spills although nothing serious. But she apparently had the beginnings of dementia and of course got worse over time. If I had still had that full-time job, which was super stressful, I don’t know how I would have ever been able to care for her, so I see that as happening in God’s timing.

MrGrimm888's avatar

This is evidence of the op’s ability to keep a positive perception, more than the universe at work.

As the op mentioned, these events could be perceived as bad things. The op is wise enough, to see the big picture.

Forever_Free's avatar

This was certainly an example of something good that came out of unfortunate circumstances. It is also an example to not get so busy that you don’t make room for what matters in life.
I am happy that this happened for you.
Interesting on the house reminded me that my Mom sold the house the first day on the market after my dad passed. 10 years later during Covid she sold her townhouse private sale to my Brothers Mother In Law after the Father in Law passed.

Timing is everything

chyna's avatar

I had a very similar experience. In 2010 I was laid off from a job I had worked at for 30 years. The department I worked for was being taken over by the company in Wisconsin. My mom was pretty sick at the time, but didn’t want to leave her house or go to a nursing home. I was able to go to take care of her most days but stayed in my own home at night. My brother helped and we hired a care giver for a couple days a week. I was still looking for a job during this time, but I was given a years severence pay, so I was doing okay.
My mom died 11 months after I was laid off. The day after she died I got a job offer that I took and worked there for over a year and then got a better job.
Divine interference, luck, blessed or fate?

SnipSnip's avatar

I live in Faith and that is to what I would attribute these turns of events if I were in your shoes.

jca2's avatar

I always feel like it’s the hand of fate, and also luck – combination luck and fate.

I’ve had some terrible things happen to me in my lifetime that turned out to have advantages, too. Tragedies but in the end, it turned out better for me.

Pandora's avatar

I bought my house after it being on the market one day. I had been house hunting for 3 weeks when I decided to drive around surrounding areas I liked. I saw the sign and quickly had my realtor look it up. It wasn’t listed yet with all the pictures. I had my realtor set up an appointment to see the place and made an offer right away. It was everything I was looking for. Nice neighborhood. Cute small yard, and well maintained and the inside was the right size for all our needs. You will be surprised how many people put up their home for sale and it looks like garbage inside or smells like mold. The new houses cost either twice the amount for the same space in underdeveloped areas or slightly more for a much smaller space.

But all these things are fortunate. If things had gone different in my life, I would’ve joined the military and been away when my dad passed away. I was about to sign the papers to join when I found out I had a health condition that wouldn’t allow me to join. I was bummed out but I was there for my dad and if I had joined, I probably wouldn’t have met my husband and had my kids. Sometimes I think there are just certain paths we are meant to take.

tinyfaery's avatar

N such thing as fate. Literally a co-incident that worked out in everyone’s favor.

jonsblond's avatar

I appreciate everyone’s answers and stories. <3

@MrGrimm888 I appreciate you noticing my ability to keep a positive perception. This is how I am in my real life outside of the internet. If you only know me through the internet you might consider me to be negative. I do tend to use the internet to let out my angst. If you met me in person you would see how I am positive and uplifting. :)

gondwanalon's avatar

It’s great that things worked out so well for you. Hope that your injury recovers quickly and completely and you aren’t in much pain.

I would not be surprised that most people experience at least one such remarkable and positive chain of events during their lives. I have no clue if there’s some driving force behind it. Angels? The hand of God? The power of the cosmos? The spirit world? Or simple coincidence.

I’ve experienced 5 unbelievable situations in my 73 years of life. The most unbelievable situation happened to me while taking a chemistry exam while in advance medical lab school.
I finished the test except I skipped over one problem on Molality that required 3 constants (I couldn’t remember them all). There was 15 minutes left in the exam so I decided to try to remember the constants (freezing, boiling and vapor). I plugged in the factors that I thought were right but then deep down I knew that at least one was wrong. Nevertheless I finished the problem. It was so weird. I watched my hand doing the calculations like it was guided by an outside of my body power. I thought why am I finishing this problem when I know it’s wrong?

It turned out that one of the constants at correct, one was backwards and the last one had no resemblance to the correct constant. Yet I got the correct answer down to the correct significant figures.

Fortunately for me the instructors only look at the answer and not the work. If they did check my work then I would have been kicked out for cheating. They would have claimed that I copied the answer and worked the equation backwards. Because it is IMPOSSIBLE to do what I did. The odds are astronomical.

Good health to you and your father.

MrGrimm888's avatar

@jonsblond I apologize, if I have ever given you the impression that I feel you are a negative person, or anything but a respected Fluther Buddy.

I’m sorry I don’t believe in fate.
One need not believe in fate.
Sometimes, fate believes in us.

I’ve heard theists say things like “God will only meet you half way.” The inference, of course, is that one has to pull their weight in making positive changes. And then God will somehow match your contributions.

I was an agnostic, before I was an atheist. A Baptist, before that. So. I am not SO removed from the concept of fate.

My problem with “fate,” is the pre-determined part.
That, to me, contradicts reality.
The concept of fate, also contradicts the way believers behave. For instance, if something is fated by God to happen, why does he need your money, or votes?

If there is a “God(s),” and they have complete control, then God’s will cannot be changed.
The way things happen, is (to vastly oversimplify,) like a billiard table.
One “event” occurs, sending into motion an almost countless chain reaction of other “events.”
The opening break, randomly scatters the balls. There are 6 pockets. Sometimes, a ball,
or two, will go into a pocket.
If we’re playing 8 Ball, the balls are divided into “stripes and solids.” The person who breaks, takes the type of ball that went in on the break, or if no balls go in, they can choose (based on the result of the new locations of all the balls) which type they want. If both types go in, still the choice of the person who broke.
The idea, is to sink all of your type of balls first, so that you can target the “neutral” 8 ball to win by hitting that into the “called” pocket.
The players take turns.
The “cue” ball, needs to be hit into another ball, to move it.
Each time a player takes a shot, they change the table (circumstances.)
Based on skill, physics, and many variables, someone will win. In 8 Ball, if you scratch (hit the cue into a pocket whilst trying to win the game sinkingthe 8,) you loose automatically.
So sometimes, the player doing the best, will lose in the end.
The outcomes are countless, regarding the combination of circumstances that lead to each shot taken, and hit or missed.
The players decide which balls to target, and when. But really can only attempt to control the physics of the balls they are trying to get in. No matter how careful one person is, the other player can drastically change the table at any time.
Each reset of the table, leading to different strategies by the players, and the results of the balls hitting each other and the chaos that ensues, constantly changes the circumstances.

Some players speak of good, or bad luck.

A simple game of pool, is actually immensely complicated as far as the many different events and outcomes.

I’m not even getting into how the time-line is effected, for the players. One may have lost money, changing the way they will make all kinds of decisions for the next few days. The winner, with more money, also may act differently for a while.
The winner may take an Uber home, instead of the bus, because they could afford to after the winnings. But. The person is more likely (statistically,) to be killed in a car accident, than a bus accident.
And each person, is a billiard ball, causing others to be effected by the way the interact.
The planets, meteors, comets, stars, etc, ALL are reacting to whatever the first “event” was.

At this point in time, scientific research mostly supports a “big bang,” that let’s say for discussion’s sake, was the opening break for the universe.

However. I AM a pessimist person. Not by choice, per say.
But. I have learned to appreciate the little things. And I have learned that a LOT of little things, are actually huge to me.

I believe/hope, that I can continue to grow to appreciate the good things, more than the bad things that caused them.

If you one doesn’t learn to ride the tide and enjoy, rather than fight the current, they will drown in this world.

To me, “God” is love.
You have a good heart, filled with love. And as I deliberately said, you are ”wise” enough, to see things from the best vantage. I don’t believe you give yourself enough credit.
Most theists don’t.
I see it in sports all the time.
An athlete who thanks God, because they practiced, worked out, and maximized their potential, is a choice. God didn’t loft weights for them. He didn’t set their alarm earlier than everyone else. He didn’t watch tape/study, or refine and perfect ANYTHING. The athlete did it ALL.

In this case. Love met you, half way. And you are wise enough, to adapt to your circumstances and see the positive side of what is really a dichotomy.

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