I have always looked at it like this (and I can back this up from personal experience and what I have observed as well in my professional experience):
Women always see a great guy who they like and it doesn’t matter who makes the move, it’s eventually about what the woman wants, and unfortunately this usually turns into what she would like the guy to be and not what he actually is. It’s that time-honored tradition of women trying to change men and mold them into what they really want.
This is strikingly juxtaposed against what should actually be happening, and that is the woman learning to love who they are with and not always pushing that person to change into what they would rather have.
And yes, I’m going to go there: many failed relationships are from this very issue.
Men aren’t stupid. Women may be intuitive, but men are also quite adept at picking up on signals and we always see what you are doing if you push us to do things or be things which we do not want. No one likes to be pushed, but men REALLY don’t. Push a man too hard or too often and you will push him away. Thus the “He’s just that not into you” theory.
If you push like this, you just make it easier for him to lose his focus on the relationship. I mean, imagine that at work you are hired to do the books and mind the money. Then all of a sudden your manager comes to you and is like, “Well, yeah Sheila…you’re doing fine here, but what I’d really like to see you doing is more technical support for our sales division because I really need to see you use those skills. Now that would be awesome! Oh, and you won’t be getting a raise for this, I’m just adding this to your duties from now on.” Where does that put you? How would that make you feel? even if you are equipped to handle a task like the new one presented, it’s not what you signed on for. And I can guarantee that you wouldn’t be what you wanted and also that you’d grow dislike it. And your lack of focus on your newly ammended job status may end up costing you employment altogether.
In a nutshell, that’s what it’s like for a guy on the receiving end of the woman’s “Change Mechanism” and this will eventually lead to relationship problems, if not total doom.