Is there any hope that I can somehow get out of this situation? (Really long details inside)
I’m sorry I don’t know how to title this question. I guess this is more of a rant than a question. I’m sorry if this question is inappropriate but right now I’m devastated and I have been crying and I just need someone to talk to.
I have been friends with a group of people since I was in college. Let’s say the main characters in this story are Jane, Mary, Linda and Julie. Jane is going to get married this December. Mary and Linda are sisters. And Julie is a very busy friend who can only show up once in a while.
Jane already told us the date of her married way back months ago. Mary is extremely supportive of the married and even promised to drop her work to attend. The problem is, the wedding day is also the day when I’m the busiest, and I dropping off work is rather hard for me because of how my workplace is structure. I also had problems with Jane’s fiance. He seems like a very manipulative and uncaring man to me. Seeing him just somehow sends chill down my spine. I just don’t feel comfortable sitting in the same room with him.
I told them I might not be able to attend due to work, and they weren’t very pleased with that. They told me weddings were a once-in-a-lifetime experience and I was being a bad friend for not joining in. They kept on pressing me to the point where Mary PMed me one day telling me to reconsider my decision because Jane was very sad and was considering ending relationship with me. Mary has also been pressuring me to do stuff with her and when I told her I was stressed from work and didn’t want further stress she said I should quit work if work was making me feel bad. The pressure to quit work to join the wedding has been hanging over my head for this entire month, to the point that I have difficulty concentrating on work.
Last night I was so stressed out from all the pressure that I vented to Linda and Julie. Julie was very unimpressed by what was going on. She said I had the right not to attend if I didn’t want to, and told me stories of her not attending wedding herself because of various reasons. She urged me to think of my mental health and make a decision myself. Linda wasn’t that harsh but she offered a compromise: she would call me during the wedding and let me watch it from her phone. That way I would have control of my time and not worry about the fiance while still attending the wedding. Linda even offered to tell everyone this on my behalf.
Today Linda did just that, and it unexpectedly sent Mary into a flying rage. Mary called me callous, saying I couldn’t go to weddings forever, and threatening to cut ties with me and Julie unless we show up. I was shocked and devastated to hear this. This is a friend that I have known for years, and this is not normal behavior of her. I can’t understand why she is so aggressive and forceful all of a sudden. The Mary I know would never do this.
I have been crying since. I really don’t know what to do anymore. Neither Linda and Julie has any solution. I feel really trapped right now. Is there any hope for me? What should I do?
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