flame, i feel you! something really similar happened to me, from i can tell. i found out that someone i had known for almost 10 years had been… omitting the truth for the last year, he was someone i used to date, and had already gotten over a long time before. but i felt so sick when i found out the truth. all the nice things that i had done, that i had let him do for me, all the friendly conversations, i just wanted to puke. i wanted to confront him and scream at him. i wanted to never talk to him agian. i wanted to throw something nasty at him. i wanted to never see him again.
it was really hard, but it sounds like you know what to do, get over it one day at the time. i was letting it consume my whole life and all my thoughts for a while, and then i realized that that was a miserable life, and that the only way it would change was if i changed it, so i tried to just put it out of my head, when i caught myself thinking about it just stop, and now i think i’m okay. i think.
all we can do is take it one day at the time.
best of luck!! we’re all here for you!