Hmmmm. There seems to be a large gap in perceptions here. I’ve asked this question a lot. What I learned is that my wife had no clue. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. And when she did know what was wrong with her, I was supposed to be a mindreader.
Anyway, for me, it was enormously frustrating. I wanted to help, but I couldn’t help until I knew what the problem was. Being very insecure, I was always convinced I had done something wrong, and she was about to ask me for a divorce.
This combination of unknowing silence on my wife’s part and insecure pestering on my part has had pretty disastrous consequences (we gradually grew extremely isolated from each other; miserably unhappy and lonely; and, had we not had kids, probably would have ended in divorce). Our couples therapist says we both need to change. She should talk about what is going on in her head, and I should be more patient, and just comfort her. Easier said than done!
I have no idea if our experience is generalizable. I present it here in case it sounds familiar to anyone.