Here is part of the problem. Right now, there are people that will take a job for lower than normal pay – and that just might work against you.
I learned something, very interesting, a long time ago. If you find a well-qualified applicant for a job, that will work for less than normal pay for the position and you decide to hire them, those pay raises tend to be far and few in between. Why? Because the applicant sets the tone of pay level, when they accept at a low pay base. That being said, it doesn’t mean that the worker should go without merit or cost of living increases. (a lot of companies have phased out cost of living raises.) It does mean that you’ve proven you will do the work of one, two or three workers, for the price of one.
I would advise getting everything together – outline what you do – what your position is and what you are doing above and beyond your position. The advice above me, is great. A combination of the above is the way to go. Also, try to never use the “I’ll quit” ultimatum. While it worked the first time, doing it again, probably will be the end of the road for you.
Consider showing her what kind of increase you think you deserve. Remember, though, if your boss considers looking that over, she probably (if she does give you a raise) will counter.
It’s time to be reasonable and levelheaded. I know it’s tough. I was making it on 10.00 and hour, as a receptionist and moonlighting in the dining room of a country club – before I was promoted to a much higher position. I’m like you though, I look for opportunities and look for ways to move forward. Raising a daughter on that…it was tight, to say the least.
Good luck!