Hah! I was wondering the same thing tonight. What is the heaviness on my heart? Why do I interpret it as depression? Why won’t it go away? Or it only goes away if I do frantic things to disengage my mind, or fool my mind.

They say it’s chemicals in the brain. But that doesn’t explain the feelings and the thoughts. Why call it depression? What is depression? I don’t believe it really a thing at all. I think it’s a con job. I think naming it depression is worse than useless.

This has got to be more specific. I was so awful today, that I was getting a headache. Why? Why couldn’t I just ignore it, or make it go away? I feel like I could, if I just had that little be extra will.

I got home, and my kids lightened me up a lot. I went dancing, and that really helped me. Now I’m home, and it’s coming back. I feel so weak compared to this. I try all this stuff, and none of it lasts.

In any case, if it is chemicals in the brain, there’s also the thoughts that I think as a result of those chemicals. Do the chemicals force me to think those thoughts, or do I have a choice? Couldn’t I name it something else? I don’t have depression. I have Fred. Or whatever.

Fred’s not a good guest, and I’ve got to find a way to get him to leave. When I was in college, I laughed at this feeling. I told myself it would go away, and I should enjoy it while it was around. It went away. It couldn’t stand up to being liked.

Why can’t I do that now?

Sorry. Not an answer to your question. Just more questions, and mine are off topic. Just needed to say.

By the way, Fuck Fred!

Fuck Fred, and the horse he rode in on!

I’m sorry I don’t know the answer to this question. I hope someone does, though…it’s an interesting one.

I don’t know exactly what it is scientifically, I just know it as a stress response in a purely psychological manner, but I have to say how much I detest that feeling. I’ll be interested to hear what people have to say.

As many of you know, because I go on and on about it, my husband Rick died in the spring. I’m better about it every week. Still: Sometimes when I happen to look at things we both had something to do with – the red sofa, the aloe plant, the pipe wrench – I get nauseous from… the shock of not having him here to share our history with this Thing, or any other Thing. Nauseous. It passes. I think it’s really a little shock reaction. Shilolo? are you there?

I’m sorry for your loss, susan. Our hearts that feel and our brains that think are intricately wired to the rest of our bodies. Nothing happens in isolation. What we feel in our hearts, our bodies feel, too.
You might google ” stress response”. I am sure you will find that stress affects every part, every system in your body.
Everybody is different. In one, stress feels like chest pressure. In another, grief feels like nausea.