You’re asleep, but others worry that you’re dead.
You can live without sex, but not without glasses.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age… And isn’t breaking any laws.
You send money to PBS.
You wear black socks with sandals.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You got cable for the weather channel.
You argue tooth-and-nail with your teenager about MTV having all crap shows, and start ranting about “I remember when they used to show VIDEOS!!” Then they roll their eyes as you leave the room.
When you are reading “You know you are old when…” questions and you nod your head sagely instead of laughing. Then ask, “What were we talking about?” And when no one answers you realize it’s because you’re home by yourself reading “if” lists.