I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. That is devastating. Of course, no one else can make you happy as I know you know.
You, however, can determine your own attitude in the face to the difficulties you face. All I can offer you is to keep you and your struggle in my thoughts and prayers, and suggest these resources, which may offer you some help:
Norman Cousins wrote a then-groundbreaking book, Anatomy of an Illness and later many other titles about the power of laughter to aid healing.
Viktor Frankl is another amazing man who survived the Holocaust by determining to control his response to the horrors around him. His book Man’s Search for Meaning is also a classic.
Lastly, while I do not mean to imply in any way that your outcome may not be a return to health, Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture is inspirational for anyone, but especially someone facing illness.
Take care. Be well.