I appear, disappear and reappear. I am newborn, I am ancient. I am one, I am a million. People dislike me because to them I am inconvenient, which saddens and confuses me. I sustain them and their world so they can live and flourish – and flourish they do. They build many, many… Trees? Without branches or leaves, but they are so large and tall, what else might they be? And they grow so fast! I raise trees in years, humans raise them in mere months. Their trees must also be better than mine because they demolish mine to create theirs. It saddens me – I cared for those trees – but I must also keep sustaining people. I try. I try so hard to help these new trees grow… But they do not, no matter how frequently I feed them. It is almost as if I hurt them. They become discolored and what humans call “rusty”, which displeases people so much.
I am running out of the trees I know how to feed, and I hurt these new ones. I do not know my purpose anymore. I am becoming withdrawn – my visits are less frequent. When I do decide to visit, I find more and more that I only cause damage. The ground rejects my visits as if my departure has hurt its feelings and spits me right back out. I rush – too powerful, I can’t slow down! – into the dwellings of humans! They curse me, hurt my feelings. I retreat, for even longer.
Now. I still want to visit humans. I can not resist, I am here to help them live. But every once in a while there is a curious sensation… A burning. During these times, when I visit, I no longer recognize myself. I kill everything. My trees, the trees humans build, humans, animals.
My resentment and despair cover everything now, just as my love and devotion used to. I appear, disappear and reappear… Changed.