There is a young woman I know in a business related way. She does her job well, but she seems to be a bit off. She clearly wants to be liked, yet at the same time she keeps people at a distance. She seems a bit self-involved and does not readily admit to making mistakes. Yet she appears to me as a lonely hurt child. That is the only way I can account for some of the things that she does and says. I confess to caring for her in a paternal way. I also tend to be overly sensitive to other people’s hurt (yeah, I am working on this; a little bit goes a long way, but this is not about me).

She is an educator and I believe that deep down inside there is a warm and loving person. Do I delude myself? Would a possible explanation for her behavior be abuse or some traumatic childhood experience? I have a belief that if I treat her with compassion that I may be able to break through her defenses. Again, do I delude myself? Is is worth the effort?