General Question

blondie411's avatar

Does anyone feel like an outsider in their own family?

Asked by blondie411 (1578points) January 19th, 2009
30 responses
“Great Question” (2points)

The oddball, the one that is different from everyone else that thinks, acts and does things just plain different.

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Answers

chelseababyy's avatar

Yep. And to top it, my mom was abusive to me and only me. And I have three siblings. The only reason she even got away with it was because my father isn’t around, and the other kids dad’s are.
She singled me out, would put me down to everyone in the family, and everyone eventually distanced themselves from me.
I was always the one who stood up for myself when my mom was abusive, none of the other kids, (1 is only a year younger so he knew what was going on) would ever say anything to her, and even when family services was aroud, he lied and told them my mom never did anything. He was scared of what she do. While I was scared of her, wanting to be in a better place was more important than being afraid.
edit
Oh, and I’ve had a good comeback from my childhood. In the past year and a half since I’ve moved out, I’ve lived out of the country, and in 4 other states, and been to 17. It’s kind of funny since no one expected me to actually do something with my life.

Critter38's avatar

Yeap, for me I still do. But after a while I stopped trying to challenge their views, accepted that they wouldn’t change, and picked my arguments. As such we haven’t converged at all (at least not dramatically) but at least we all can relax together despite our differences.

Much harder when I was growing up and couldn’t understand why no one else on the planet appeared to think the way I did, not even my own family.

queenzboulevard's avatar

My whole family part of the state is close minded and ultra-conservative. I consider myself to be an independent thinker (not big I), which puts me at odds with most of the people I meet. I suppose we get along fine, as long as we’re not discussing anything moral, philosophical, or political lol.

cage's avatar

I recently went for a family holiday in the London area.
A good few people went.
After realising people were ignoring me I asked my mum and dad if anyone had said anything about me. To which they replied “they didn’t know we had another son!”

That’s alright. I’m only 18 after all.

cookieman's avatar

There is a big section of my family (including my mother) I could only have small talk with (the weather, TV shows, etc.).

Any discussion of morals, race, money, politics, religion or similarly meaningful issues ended badly. I always felt we were from different planets.

deusexmachina's avatar

@queenzboulevard Same for me, but we can’t really discuss anything that requires an opinion, as my opinion is always wrong. Awesome!

Darwin's avatar

Some branches of my family I am convinced are indeed aliens from other planets. However, as I have matured I have learned how to hold my tongue so they don’t know what I think about their wacky, hair-brained ideas (and so they won’t suspect I am this close to turning them in to the MIB).

On the other hand, the older I get the more my father and I seem to agree about things.

augustlan's avatar

Absolutely.

hahniam's avatar

I have always felt that way, I have always done everything different, felt different and responded differently from my family. I can only be the way I am though.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I’m the definitely the outsider in my family, and it’s a congenital condition. I never fit in at all with , but was able to hang on to myself even when my family tried to shame me about not living and believing as they do. I stopped contacting them a few years ago. We’re no longer on speaking terms and that is for the best for all concerned.

omfgTALIjustIMDu's avatar

Yes, very much so. Not only have I always been different, but I’ve also always been treated differently.

Bri_L's avatar

Yes. Very much so. And in the unpleasant sort of way. The cool for amusement sort of way.

asmonet's avatar

Yes.

Knotmyday's avatar

Both I and my sister do.

We’re way more fun. In an irreverent, profane, practical, intelligent, maybe a little bit gay, sort of way. We’re flaming fun-mosexuals.

the rest of the family are Republicans…

asmonet's avatar

^lol4rl <3

loser's avatar

Yeah, me too. I’m the family weirdo. Ever since I was a teenager…

El_Cadejo's avatar

A better question would be, who feels like they fit in with their whole family?

And to answer the question, yes i feel very different from my family. Even though i still live at home i honestly dont even see half of my family, I sleep all day and am up all night and vice versa with them. Only the occasional passing in the hallway or something.

cookieman's avatar

Does anyone know someone who is a great fit with their family?

My friend and her family are thick as thieves – they are so in tune with each other.

Makes me wanna stab her with a fork. well not really…a spoon perhaps

El_Cadejo's avatar

@cprevite see not normal. If it was you wouldnt be on a spoon stabbing frenzy :P

90s_kid's avatar

Of the 5 in my family, I am definitely the oddball. No one ever sees me because I am in my room all day listening to music and doing productive things. My family is really annoying.

scamp's avatar

My family pretty much fell apart after my youngest brother died. the two remaining brothers keep in touch, but no so much with me. It hurt at first, but it is what it is, so I learned to live with it. Besides, with one in Indiana, one in Florida, and one in New Jersey, we wouldn’t be able to do much more than talk on the phone and send christmas cards anyway.

Knotmyday's avatar

<hug> and lurve @scamp. Plus, you have to put up with Poof and her glinting nose-piercing.
<sob>

blondie411's avatar

I have friends as adults now that get along with their parents/family like they are best friends. They can talk about anything and everything. I have never had that kind of relationship. I always seem to say or think something outside the norm of “the family” and get looks or whispers. I just always wanted to know if I was the only one that had this kind of relationship.

scamp's avatar

Thanks Knotmyday ! Plus family of choice alot of the time is much more…interesting than the family we were born with, ha ha!!

Knotmyday's avatar

True, true.

windex's avatar

Yes!

I am AWESOME

They are NOT

blacksheep's avatar

I most definitely feel like the outsider in my whole family. My brother is married and has a family, and the same for my sister, who lives a distance away. We were close for a very long time, and then a number of events transpired that changed that. I won’t go into everything, for there is fault to be shared by everyone, and I would never deny my own. Anyway, we are no longer close, and I feel alone and even my extended family (cousins, etc.) have nothing to do with me. It seems that forgiveness is not a word in anyone’s vocabulary in my family, although the few times we are together a proper “happy” front is evident. Our parents are deceased, and I have few friends, so I feel kind of isolated. What makes it even worse now is that I am going through some difficulties lately that I could use more support on, and almost all I seem to get is criticism. I know they say to find a church and start attending, but most churches where I live are so clique driven that it would be a case of me being made to feel like an outsider in another setting all the time, so why put myself through that! That is my story, and I see no real solutions.

augustlan's avatar

@blacksheep Welcome to Fluther. It sounds like you’re going through some rough times. Rather than church, have you considered counseling? It might help you navigate the tough stuff. Best of luck to you!

Carolina1's avatar

Yes, I have been an outcast for as long as I can remember. I am the only girl out of three siblings (not because of that). I moved closer to home and thought that my family would reach out, not. My brother always say that he is glad I’m living in the area, but does not bother with visiting me. My other brother, forget it, he won’t pick up the phone when I call. At this point in my life, I don’t care. I always wondered why I left in the first place. Now I know. I never felt like an outcast when I moved away from my family. I guess living in the same area was the reminder. I am happy that I have friends who care about me and I get along with most people ok. I will move away again in another year. I don’t like the area but at least I can say that I have reached out and expressed my feelings. I have always been better off doing my own thing anyway. Ms. Outcast.

heygirlhey4416's avatar

since I was born I have been an outsider. my parents just kind of set me up for it. my brother and my dad were born on the 28th of a month and my sister and mom were born on the 12th of a month…... I was born on the 14th my brother has the same middle name as my dad and my sister has the same middle name as my mom. mine is different. when I was in 1st grade, I got the herpes virus which means occasionally my lip has a cold sore on it…... you would think I was a leper….. my mom started labeling things in the cabinets not (my name) when friends would come over they would be like why does this say not (my name)? how embarrassing. when we go to the movies, they buy one soda and one popcorn and I don’t get any cuz I will give them a disease. the only one who has ever not cared was my dad, but he’s mean all the time. the other day I contemplated suicide. randomly my sister goes into my room and ruins stuff. my parents don’t care. since 5th grade my mom and sister have made fun of me for everything—the way I eat, drink, walk, breathe, talk, look, how i’m so skinny and disgusting. my brother, now that he is an adult, notices how horrible they are and called them out on it. I am only thirteen why should I have to deal with this?

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