Welcome to the collective, Mical. Based on the information that you have provided, I think the first change you should undertake is to become comfortable with yourself and not care quite so much what other people think.
First, a bit of outside truth that people, very concerned with what is going on for them, do not often realize. Guess what? Most people are focused on their own concerns much more than on you. They won’t care or notice nearly as muich as you think they will.
Next, try some affirmations every day. Your create the ones that work for you and your situation, but watch your tricky inner self! Make sure what you are saying is positive (that may be a change in itself). Here are some ideas to get you started:
You think: If I change, people will stare at me. When you catch yourself thinking that, say out loud, “Let them look. I did this for me.”
You think: All the people who don’t care are going to say things to me. Stop the thought and say out loud, “Let them talk. Who cares what they think.” Note: If you do make changes and they do talk to you, turn it into a joke, “Where have you been? I cut my hair two months ago.” (even if you only just cut it)
Come up with about several 5 or more basic affirmations about who you are that are positive and say them looking in the mirror every morning.
“It’s my life and I can change what I want.”
“I am a good person just the way I am.”
“I am a lovable person.”
Figure out what they need to be. It will feel awkward at first (like anything new does), but stick with it.
Take care.