I don’t do it exactly on purpose. However, when I’m mentally ill, I push it big time. Fortunately, I have a support system that has refused to let me get away with it. However, should I ever manage to get rid of my support system during an episode, there’s a good chance I’d succeed in destroying myself. God, today is filled with references to that time. It is very uncomfortable. I don’t like thinking these thoughts.
I work on the 8th floor. The windows open. They are open to let in the spring breeze. Even though I’m feeling good, I still think about jumping. I wish I knew why.