I got a pedometer one year from a fat relative.
I almost slapped her while we were all unwrapping gifts.

I was sixteen.
Bitch.

Yours SUCKS.

The year I got Helen Keller in the office gift exchange I ended up giving her a typewriter with a built in MP3 player.

i know… awkward

This last Christmas I got a very tacky and broken table ornament of a teddy bear in a winter scene from my mom’s friend. I’m so glad she wasn’t there when I unwrapped it. That thing went straight to the garbage bin.

A bright purple velour tube dress that was too small, made by hand by some female friends who really, really wanted me to wear it. And I really, really didn’t.

I wore it exactly once, to their house (I had a shirt over it on the way there), spilled something on it, and then claimed someone stole it out of the dryer at the Laundromat while I was getting a soda from the machine up front. A total lie, of course.

maybe not along the same lines as you guys, but

My GF and I broke up about a week before Christmas and she was a dainty girl who swore she never farted or pooped. After I returned her ski jacket I bought her a gift from Turdinabox.com with a note that went something like “Sometimes a beautifully wrapped gift only holds a load of sh*t on the inside” and the childrens book Everyone Poops (and I made sure she opened it in front of her family)

she was gorgeous, but sucked on the inside…

@mjchatter – Wow! Not in defense of them, I went through several – but had they already bought the shirt? Not that it would matter, I would have never worn the shirt, ever.

@mjchatter- WOAH. That’s pretty disgusting.

When I was turning 16, I was going through a really rough phase, socially, emotionally, blah blah blah. I pretty much had no real friends and was pretty depressed and felt fat and ugly and awful. On my 16th birthday, flowers from a secret admirer were delivered to my house!!! I was so excited, and felt pretty damn special for a change.

I found out later that night they were from my parents.

Bear in mind, I am an executive, (office, suit/tie, etc.) I live in the center of the city.

Someone once got me an old (not antique) horse collar with a mirror in it. The finish was coming off the mirror, the metal was rusting, and it stunk. He thought I should hang it in the front hall by the front door.

Like this DrBill?

I can’t imagine that being a good idea. Ugh. Ugly.

I can’t see anyone wanting that anywhere in their house unless they’re totally into horses.

Even then, I would suggest they put it in the barn.

@Vinifera7: I’m totally into horses and I wouldn’t put that in my house. Collars, yolks, blankets, and everything else goes in a tack room.

@asmonet

It was like that only in much worse condition. I would post a picture but I don’t want to hurt my camera, or provoke Fluther vomit

@DrBill: Good call.

A former friend of mine recieved a public phonebook from her mother on Christmas. So she could “call someone who cares”.....
I thought it was very creative, but she was really pissed at her mom for awhile.

@cak I think they probably Had bought it and decided to go ahead and give it to me. And, no… I never wore it – it went straight to the Goodwill.

When I was around 21 a bank vice president I was working for gave me this. I was so embarrassed I didn’t know what to say.

@SuperMouse, creepy!!
Mine is either way-too-big-socks, for Christmas, with a line on the packaging that said something like, “Ladies XXXL” (Gee, thanks, mom!)
Since when did socks even come in sizes?

OR a plastic sheep that pooped brown jelly beans, at an office ‘holiday’ party. I guess it was kind of fitting though…plus my boyfriend found it fascinating.

@La_chica_gomela: Haha I have a pig key chain that poops a brown jelly like substance when you squeeze, when you let go it gets sucked back into his bum bum. I love it.

@La_chica_gomela I had a boyfriend who gave me the cow version of that as a souvenir when he went out of town. W.T.F.

@Likeradar: I’ll take that off your hands…I like pooping farm animals, you know.