When I found out I had cancer (Leukemia). Not at first, because I was numb. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, after he said what I had – that’s why you need someone with you! It was like the air was sucked out of the room.
Later, at home – looking at my children. At the time, one in middle school and one in preschool. I lost it. I went to the bedroom, screamed in my pillow, cried and was physically ill, as well. I don’t know how long it lasted, but this fear that penetrated every fiber of my being, was so overwhelming that I could not contain the emotions. I had to let them out.
I know my husband eventually came in, helped me calm down and got me into the shower. When I fell asleep, I was still in my robe. I woke up the next morning to my family. We were all there, alive and together. That’s how I plan to keep things.