Removed by myself. Should have read the whole question.

I’m not sure you have to tell your husband that your not a virgin. Not every woman bleeds the first time.

I don’t have an answer for you, but I am sad for you. Do you live in the US now? Which opressive culture do you come from?
@critter1982; How sad that women feel they need to resort to that.

I think leading a man into marriage when you know you’re a liar is wrong. Is he a virgin? Has he spent his life honoring your culture? It’s not fair for you to lie to him.

This is a loaded question. Why can’t you tell your husband that you have already lost your virginity? If you are afraid that he will react violently or that he will reject you, then maybe you need to put this marriage on hold.

@Judi: It’s obsurd that any woman would have to go through this.

You need to tell the guy the truth and/or put the marriage on hold.
possibly seek outside help if this knowledge could lead to violence or abuse.

Don’t be so judgmental guys. It’s not always that simple unless you understand the dynamics of her culture. She may have been raped and in some cultures women are still blamed and considered spoiled even if they were victimized. It’s not fair, it’s not right, but it is the reality these women live with every day.
Has anyone ever heard of these pills she’s talking about?

surgery is not an option, and telling him is not an option too,, nobody can know, not even my parents or the society where in here if they found that girl lost her virginity her family could easily kill her,, i only have the option to fake my virginity… i dont know how,, i cant sleep day and night thinking about this, guys its not an option to tell him, if not him even other guys that i still have to fake my virginity with!! i dont know what to do!!

Is not marrying him an option? Where the hell do you live?

@Judi of course rape is a whole different issue. She wasn’t clear in her details so I am only assuming she chose to lose her virginity.

even if i dont marry him, i would get married eventually and i still have to fake it! can somebody please tell me if they know anything about the pills :( please!

@Designer: You have access to a computer; you speak English better than most, and you have not yet shared what culture you are a member of. Oh, and how did you manage to have sex 9 years ago if women are so sheltered and protected. Shouldn’t you have been married by age 15?

I do note that on Nov. 2008 you were 22. That meant sex at 13? Voluntary or forced?

I’m so sorry you have to go through this. If it really is a life and death situation I say just stick to your story and if he asks you just tell him you were a virgin until being with him. Not every woman bleeds the first time. He has no proof that you were not a virgin unless you admit it, so don’t. Just stick to your story and don’t admit the truth. I really hope everything turns out okay for you. Good luck!

@gailcalled The internet is EVERYWHERE, not just in North America and Europe, and people speak english in other countries. Do you know that she had to be married at 15? Do you even know which culture she’s talking about? If you don’t, you can’t make assumptions that she had to be married at 15 and that she is sheltered. Don’t make assumptions from what you see on TV or in the movies etc…

kheredia :) i wish it was that easy, if he in any way suspects that i lost my virginity he could easily bring me to a doc so i could have a check up and he will find out and my whole family will and the whole society will and i will get divorced and live in shame my whole life :) and Gailcalled its not about culture its about religion, being a muslim girl i cant loose my virginity before getting married… and who said that girl are sheltered and should be married in age 15? its not allowed here to get married that young lol,, :) and by the way i’m well educated and studying for my masters ;)

According to this blog, a pharmacist/obstetrician can prepare and or prescribe the so-called virginity pill. Apparently what it does is release a slimy red discharge from the vagina about 1 hour after insertion. Here is another article translated from Dutch. Unfortunately, I have yet to determine what chemical(s) is in the pill.

An interesting alternative is this little gadget, which mimics a hymen and has fake blood. You could buy a couple, and test them out before the wedding night to make sure they work.

Let’s be pragmatic for a moment. Not all women bleed their first time. Some do, some don’t. Not all women have an intact hymen, even if they’ve never had sex. Even some who do don’t bleed. Will he really notice, or care?

@Designer you still have not tell us where you are living right now. If we had some idea what the cultural climate of your environment is like it’d be easier to help you with this problem.

I just read through all of this. I won’t comment on what you should or shouldn’t do in regards to your relationship, but as for the pills. I don’t know anything about them and I would suggest that you don’t take them and if you are not able/willing to be honest with your husband, do as others say and stick to your story. If you take these pills and you have a reaction (possibly life threatening) or there is any ‘residue’ that is strange to your husband, then how are you going to explain your reason for taking the pill. I think the more you try to ‘cover up’, the more likely he will become suspicious.
(I just read your additional post about being taken to the doctor, if it is after you have intercourse with him, then there would be no ‘proof’ either way anyhow unless I am mistaken, please correct me if I’m wrong and if he does suspect something before intercourse and takes you to a doctor, then the pills wouldn’t help you anyhow)

@Designer ; if he takes you to a doctor it will be after HE has sex with you and of course you won’t be a virgin then!!

It’s situations like this that make me hate human beings.

First of all, I have seen this first hand, and even though I have my own opinion on how things should be, I know what you mean.

So, to answer your actual question without judging, I do not know what this pill does, but it can’t be that healthy. And apparently you can’t afford the operation (which is so common in these cases). I have heard of two tricks:

1. you could get some sort of sachet with blood/paint and stick it in there, then when he does have sex with you, he’ll break it and the blood will come out (fish work well for this).

2. You could simply wait until your period to have sex, and trick him that way.

In both cases, you have to pretend to be a virgin all along, and pretend it hurts a lot more than it really does.

Of course, I’d also suggest telling him/your parents the truth or simply not marrying a guy based on a lie, but I know you’re not considering that option anyway.

I was taught that the skin that typically causes bleeding when it breaks (the hymen) is often broken by other typical young activity other than sex, such as running or jumping around with clothes on. Lack of a hymen is not proof of lack of virginity. So I think it would be more dangerous to be trying to fake it, since someone might discover the pills or whatever.

@marissa is right. And with all this said, I’m not sure there is anything for you to “fake.” I did not experience any bleeding or mysterious popping sound when I lost my virginity.

Judi: hehehehe!! noo hun they can find out whether you lost your virginity earlier and how :) we’ve seen few cases here and omg you have no idea what happend to the poor girl, she was beaten up by her family as a poor toy and another girl her brother ran over her body several times till her body pieces well fallen apart,, so,, hmmm,, could i say again telling the truth is NOT an option??? like hell no, like noway, like till i die?

Well designer, I am familiar with the importance of this in some cultures, I know in Uzbekistan they actually have doctors who specialize in surgeries that make it so that you are like a virgin again and will bleed. As you just mentioned, its a serious issue. I know in Uzbekistan the least that will happen to you is you get sent back to your family and pretty much shamed by any other guys. Good luck and check your local surgeons.

Then take your chances with the pill.

LKidKyle1985: it costs 3,000 $ here :) i cant afford that

I just had another thought. Given the culture you are in, if the women know methods to ‘fake virginity’, isn’t it just as likely that the men are taught what to look for to make sure your bride isn’t ‘faking her virginity’, if that is the case, then I would think any action you take (like using pills) would be something your future husband would be looking for.

I have heard of the husband taking a cloth with the blood on it to a doctor after sex. Then it can be confirmed as human blood.
I guess that no matter what substance you chose to try and trick your husband, your only hope lies in how far he is willing to go to test your honesty.
I think your best chance is to wait until your period, like @Jack79 said.

@Designer See my answer above.

Yikes that is a pretty steep price. Hmm, well I don’t think the pills are going to work. You could always try having sex with him while you are on your period….

Look at @shilolo ‘s link above! It is just a gellitan pill. It should not have any side effects!

marissa: no women do not know the methods of faking virginity where it is rare to see them here, and those who do they dont try to cover up thats why they get punished in different horrifying ways, thats why i dont know what to do here and have no clue where to go!

Shilolo: 1 hour?? oh my, i have to know when will he do his move!! god im so scared, i dont even think i’ll get wet that moment and allow him to do it!!

how well do you know that guy? Has he had a lot of experience with other women? Maybe it could be useful to know, so that you know what method is less risky. When are you getting married? Do you know your own period cycles?

There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said. You shouldn’t lie, but you shouldn’t feel pressured to do ANYTHING you’re not comfortable doing.

Designer, can you tell us what country you are currently in? As others have said, this would help us understand what options you might have.

Jack79: i dont think he’ve done it before, or even had any relationships with other women, i’m getting married this summer and yeah i know my own period cycles but after reading the article that shilolo gave me i might go with the pill,,, thanks shilolo,,

marissa: i’m from the middle east :)

If he’s a virgin himself, he might be easier to fool. Do you really want to be married to him? Did you have a choice in picking? Not that it matters anyway. Good luck with everything.

I don’t have any advice to give you, designer. I wish you the best of luck with everything, you are in my thoughts and prayers. This makes me appreciate the freedom that I have…

If he’s a virgin, you could maybe get away with just pretending that it hurts a whole lot. And with the pill thingy, he’d probably be none the wiser- if you don’t think he’ll get it “tested.”

If you love him and he loves you and you don’t feel threatened by him, I think it’s worth a lie. If not, you can sleep on my couch until you find someone who will love you and respect you. You can watch my son in exchange for room and board! Perfect! Oh, and I’ll beat the shit out of anyone who tries to find you. This is a great plan…

ubersiren: LoooL! omg hun ur so sweet… thanks for cheerin me up!

They let you on the internet, but you cannot have premarital sex? Interesting.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope it all works out for you.

i would be on the next plane out of there.

My dear American friends,
I know this is yet another cultural shock for you, but yes, people like Designer do exist. I had a Lebanese girlfriend once (I’m guessing Designer is also from Lebanon or thereabouts) and yes, she went to college like everyone else, had friends, went out (though couldn’t stay as late as she wanted) and we had plenty of sex, all under her parents’ nose. But then one day they decided she had to get married to some guy she didn’t even know, and they arranged it and she had no choice. So I had to pay for the operation (since it was all my fault she was not a virgin) for her to fake it to this stranger she didn’t love.

The world simply is like that in some places. And it’s unfair to ask of a girl to start a revolution, when we ourselves do not even dare tell McDonald’s to remove those horrible pickles from their hamburgers, fearing we might insult the assistant who put them in.

I wish Designer could get to pick the guy she marries, and have a meaningful relationship based on honesty. But maybe she’ll at least persuade her daughter to do so, or won’t be that judgemental when she finds out that her own daughter or daughter-in-law is not a virgin.

that’s exactly what’s happening to me jack :) i do now know this guy and the only thing i know is that they told he is one of a kind.. and now i’m forced to marry him :) at least you understand how i feel now :)and know that i have no other choice…

Thanks jack but not all Americans are as sheltered from the world as you have implied.

@Jack79 I am aware of other cultures. If someone chooses to remain part of a culture ( and yes it is a choice) then I think they ought to be honest. If she and your friend want to be Muslim then they should follow Muslim law. I’m not saying it is easy to escape, but it can be done. By putting on an appearance of being faithful to ones religion or culture while all the while going against it is not only weak but puts other young girls in the same situation. Nothing will change until women have the guts to help themselves and future generations.

@elijahsuicide It can be done, but its not like they are handing American or other European Visas out like candy. And moving to a country costs a lot of money most people don’t have in other countries. She can’t afford the surgery she certainly can’t afford to live some where else. Unfortunately many people are stuck in cultures they can’t escape. Even if they could, would you be willing to leave your entire family over something like that. Besides, if she wanted advice on how to leave she wouldn’t be asking a question on how to avoid detection of not being a virgin.
P.S. @Designer if your husband doesn’t want you look me up ;)

@Jack79: It didn’t seem that any of us were in disbelief, here. I learned about it in middle school, so I’m not sure it’s very privileged information or anything. I’m just sayin’- Not even sure it’s obscure enough to be a final Jeopardy question, dude.

@Jack79 Perhaps it is a cultural shock for you to realize not all Americans are stereotypically ignorant and dumb.

Plan the wedding so that your wedding night is during your period. Then both the blood and the pain (from cramps) will be real, and he will not be able to prove anything different. If he takes a cloth to the doctor for testing, it will be your real blood!

@marissa Is it possible for you to tell him that when you were younger, your hymen broke when you inserted a tampon? Seems a reasonable explanation, and one that would be impossible to refute.

With respect to planning the wedding, I am by no means an expert, but I recall that in a lot of conservative cultures, the wedding is planned for the middle of the cycle, so as to produce offspring in 9 months. At least in orthodox Judaism, women need to cleanse themselves during their period and weddings are not typically planned for the time overlapping a woman’s period.

Do you have any idea how old this pill is that your friend gave you?

What if it doesn’t work? Then you are stuck just explaining that you don’t know why there was no blood. That same article shilolo linked to says that only 60% of women bleed the first time.

If you are going to go with the pill option, you should at least make sure you have a fresh one.

You can change your cycle with birth control pills, and time it that way. Breaking the hymen with a tampon can happen, but it is uncommon. You’d be better off saying you had a bycycle accident in your youth. It’s far more likely.

I’m curious.

How exactly would one go about determining virginity after consummation on the wedding night?

And what did @designer mean when she said, “they can find out whether you lost your virginity earlier and how”?

If we’re talking about conclusive, scientific proof of virginity… well, that’s simply not possible. I’ll even go so far as to say an intact hymen isn’t proof of virginity… just proof that it wasn’t pushed too far.

If there’s some sort of archaic, anecdotal, circumstantial evidence that this culture accepts as proof, then I’d like to see the details of that spelled out more clearly so we can help theorize a more complete set of workarounds.

—

Furthermore, I very much suggest not using any props to help you fake it. Props == Evidence of deceit. Plus, if you choose to use real blood, then that simply cannot be sanitary and that’s one place you don’t want to get unsanitary with. What if you had to go to the doctor later to deal with the consequences of faking it?

I concur with the fluterites who suggest simply acting the part. Act nervous beforehand. Ask him to go slow. Real slow. Grimace a bit from time to time. Then, later, try to act like you’re acting like you like it.

I found this article which may help us to understand @Designer‘s problem.

Make loud painful noises the 1st time…..ah….I mean the 2nd time or is it 3rd ++++++++++++++ ?

It is very hard for us to relate to you situation in this culture. Accepting your needs at face value, I would say there are some ideas in this article. The least invasive seems to be the vial of blood for the sheets.

I am sorry you have to go through this. This with acting you are in pain when he first enters is probably the best you can do, Some articles say men cannot tell.

If it has been a long time since you’ve had sex there’s a chance that you may have some discomfort and bleeding as it is. Unless someone examines you before hand, I don’t think it’d be that hard to fake.

@scamp, from the article, a hymen-restoration cosmetic surgeon explains ”...I have colleagues in the United States whose patients do this as a Valentine’s present to their husbands.”

WTF?!?!

lol who would want to relive taking someones virginity. I mean I guess its kinda cool the first time but they usually aren’t all that fun.

Oh, I like how the article wraps up…

“The man is the biggest of all the donkeys,” said Abdelkibir Errami, the center’s vice president. “Even if the woman was no longer a virgin, he had no right to expose her honor. This is not what Islam teaches. It teaches forgiveness.”

@shilolo I do not think I would trust the reliability of a product from a sex store.

@robmandu yeah right! Happy Valentines Day honey I am “new” again.. what a crock, huh? ha ha!

@dragonflyfaith I agree. Which is why I suggested she test it first to see how it works (assuming she could actually order it online, which I doubt). The reliability of a pill delivered by a “friend” also could be in doubt. I think her best bet is to go about the business as usual, and-or tell him in advance that her hymen was broken as a child.

Since this topic has gone to the sex toy industry, what does the culture say about masturbation? Maybe you could just say your hymen was broken by a vibrator.

edit.. never mind, I just found this, sorry

I would never insert that into my vagina. The description alone is frightening.

“Artificial Virginity Hymen is created from Kyoto, Tapan at 1993. it was first introduced to the locals, then it gets famous and spread to Thailand at 1995 and now avaliable in South East Asia…”

How could anyone trust that?

They couldn’t even spell Japan? wow!! Wonder what they were doing when they wrote the ad.

Warning!!! My virus software just sent me an alert about that site. Do not go there!! Anyone who viewed it should run their virus scans and adware right away!!

using stuff like that is probably why these babby can’t frigth back.

@ robmandu ha ha!

@scamp lol awesome

Thanks, but I can’t take the credit for it. It was johnpowell’s response in the thread that romandu linked us to above.

Seems like a lot of work to avoid being honest with your partner.

Personally, my first choice would be to become an exchange student and move away from home.

I would never consider marrying anyone under those conditions. Surely there are more moderate (read; enlightened) populations out there somewhere.

There is also the fact that the friend supplying the pills would hold a terrible secret over your head.

Those who say that attempts to deceive are admissions of guilt sound the wisest to me. Anything else seems dangerously risky. Sticking to your story seems like the safest bet—even if confronted.

There was absolutely nothing remarkable (in any way) about my losing my virginity: no pain, no special sensation, no blood, nothing. It’s like that for a lot of people.

I think a lot of people here are applying a Western cultural viewpoint to a distinctly non-Western problem. Yes, we (in the West) view ourselves as more progressive. But, it is distinctly unhelpful to say to @Designer that she should approach this situation with brutal honesty, as her openness could have profound implications for her and her family.

We really should avoid being blinded by our cultural biases. Yes, in an ideal world, we would all have the same rights and privileges. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Let’s try to be more sensitive to her situation.

You have not yet told us how you happened to lose your virginity 9 years ago. And your use of Internet American slang and ” LoooL! omg hun ur so sweet… thanks for cheerin me up!” doesn’t sound like usage from a mid-Eastern culture. Sorry that I am being cynical. But even our bilingual Dutch and Norwegian and Faorese Flutherers are not that fluent.

And this: “Shilolo: 1 hour?? oh my, i have to know when will he do his move!! god im so scared, i dont even think i’ll get wet that moment and allow him to do it!!”

That said, I would say:

If you are supposed to be virginal and therefore inexperienced, there is a good chance you would not lubricate, (the situation sounds far from romantic or sexually exciting) but that is easy to deal with . Wet your fingers with saliva and rub on his penis and your vagina. Most women are dry occasionally.

I had intercourse for the first time on my wedding night. I was twenty. It was not painful and I did not bleed. There were no pops or tearing sounds. I had ridden horses and been physically active as a teen-ager.

@theresemarketing: If he doesn’t accept her he could kill her. When the truth leads to death, it’s best avoided.

@theresemarketing thanks for spamming the thread!

I personally think it’s kind of crazy to be asking someone repeatedly how they lost their virginity and specifically if they were raped. I was watching Court TV last night on a girl that lived here and was stabbed to death by her father because she was dating an African American and wanted a job. It can happen here, too.

But to answer the question, as others have stated, you can lose your virginity and not bleed or have pain. Especially if you are older. I guess in that situation I would not tell the truth either. I would not try the pill though, what if it caused complications and then you were really found out or had problems from it. I agree with either planning it around your period or just not saying anything since you can lose your virginity blood-free.

@shililo had a link that said the pill was gelitan and color. Not a lot of medical risk there.

@gailcalled: first of all, here in middle east we are well civilized people and well educated even than most countries, you can not judge us and be a stereotype! we actually mostly talk english here, and hun im well educated and doing my masters so dont stereotype…

second thing, how i lost my virginity is not my case now, it happend years ago, it was a foolish act that i regret,,, and dont want to discuss…

@robmandu: hun they do know if you lost your virginity in early ages but they cant know when and how though, thats the only thing that i know, coz few cases happend and they found out if the girl lost her virginity before her husband… :)

Risks of the so-called “pill”:

1. Husband finds this large suppository in advance, and asks “What’s this? Why does the box say it’s from a sex shop? Where’d you get it?”

2. Releases a red gelatin… not human blood. A quick sample analysis will immediately show the deception. “Why are you bleeding not-blood? Why is there gelatin in the bed?”

3. These “pills” might have been handled a lot as @Designer and her friends examine it. Staph and other microorganisms are present on the skin and could end up going for a ride… leading to discomfort and possible infection. “What did the doctor say is wrong with your hoo-hah? Why do you need special medicine… not the over-the-counter stuff?”

@Designer, without knowing details about how “they found out if the girl lost her virginity before her husband” there’s only one conclusion I can make:

That they coerced the girl into admitting she wasn’t a virgin. There’s no real physical evidence that would pass a cursory scientific exam. So what they did was they pushed the girl with their so-called proof and tricked her into incriminating herself.

Whatever happens… stick to your story. Do not admit anything other than you’re a virgin and you don’t understand all the hubbub. You’re a highly educated (master’s degree, right?) person and have a passing knowledge of basic female anatomy. Do not let anyone trip you up.

And do not bring evidence of your own along, either. They find those pills on you or search the web history on your computer finding this conversation or searches for virginity restoration surgery or whatever, and you’re toast.

And stop talking about it with your friends. You’re laying a huge trail all over the place right now.

i know :) thanks for the advice, i really appreciate it :)

Great advice, robmandu.

This makes me extremely sad.

@Designer It is impossible to tell whether or not a woman has lost her virginity, regardless of what else you have been told. There are many ways in which young women can break their hymen growing up. If a doctor were to examine her, it would look like she lost her virginity, even if she had not. There are a lot of people in the world who believe that you actually can tell, but they are wrong. If they looked at it logically, they would know this.

I do not suggest taking the pill unless you know the person who gave it to you very well, and also not until you know what the pill is made of. Not all women bleed when they lose their virginity, so you shouldn’t worry about that.

I wish you the best of luck in all regards and hope that somehow you can manage to live a life where you can be true to yourself and free.

I think the problem in these societies is that, even if the girl broke her hymen horseriding, she’ll still be stoned to death for not being a virgin. Even victims of rape are seen just as evil (or in any case “dirty”) as their rapist.

the have virginity in pill format now and only for 600$ hmmmmm somehow i think unlikely .

@Designer youve still yet to say what country your from…... you keep saying the middle east but you’ve been awfully vague thus far. If your telling the truth why is it so damn hard to get an answer out of you?

I’m with gail on this one.

And I am with the always uberbatman uberbatman.

annnnnnnd abandoned the question….hmmmmmm….wonder what all this could mean?

@uberbatman lool cant a women be buzy ;) i’m from Qatar :) happy?

Qatar is quite small actually. 1,541,130 people, out of which 837,214 are women. 378 of them are getting married later this year. Only 1 is a designer. Ramla, is that you? Shame on you! I’m goint to tell your mother!

Hasnt Qatar come quite some way in women’s rights?

@Jack79, I am honestly baffled by your latest comment. Throughout this thread you have been the one to insist that this is a serious matter in some cultures and that the threat of dire consequences is real, whether we ignorant, benighted Americans comprehend it or not. And now you are treating it as a joke and teasing her. Am I grossly misreading your remarks?

It’s two different things. The issue is a serious one, and it has been resolved (or at least Designer got her answers). Then there is the teasing, which follows her own comment starting with “lool”. I am sure that, even though she is in a tight spot (and in her first post was very upset), Designer still retains her sense of humour, and my last comment was meant to (hopefully) cheer her up a bit.

I may be wrong all along, and of course internet is not very good at portraying emotions. But this was my interpretation and intention anyway.

@Jeruba thanks hun for defending me :*

@Jack79 hehehe it’s ok, u did cheer me up, but ramla ;P come on! cant u make up a better name? ;P ramla means sand here so naah ;P and about my case, yes when i asked my question, i was even considering suicide as an option but thanks to you guys, you gave me answers and some of you cheered me up :) i’m trying to forget about my problems just for now and live my life till the dreadfull moment comes and at that time i’ll tell you guys what happend, whether i’m still alive or ummm who knows :/

It’s a real name! I knew 3 Lebanese girls (including an ex gf) but 2 had European names, the 3rd was called Ramla. I also had a Saudi Arabian friend called Kotra. They were the first names that crossed my mind.

I know how freaked out you must feel about all this, but you are lucky that your husband-to-be is not that experienced. I would still like to think you can explain things to him or your parents, or avoid getting married altogether, but Qatar does not sound like the sort of place where feminist revolutions start. I was hoping you might be Egyptian or Syrian at least. So for now I’ll just wish you luck with the trickery, and perhaps the courage to help your own daughter in the next generation.

Designer, please let me know how you resolved this. I need help too

@gzofheart i didnt get married :) i managed to cancel everything and here i am single again and dreading to get married :) time is ticking….

i found few ways to fake virginity but what if they find out that its not real blood?? what if and what if and what if… the only safe solution is to get the operation.. but come on where the hell am i gonna get the money?? how old r u by the way?

@qzofheart i didnt get married :) i managed to cancel everything and here i am single again and dreading to get married :) time is ticking….

i found few ways to fake virginity but what if they find out that its not real blood?? what if and what if and what if… the only safe solution is to get the operation.. but come on where the hell am i gonna get the money?? how old r u by the way?

tell him you went horseback riding and you bled. or try to find a doctor to stitch you ups. i heard that is what girsl in greece did long time ago

pay a guy to married you under a contract. A few month contract. Then divorce. But you gonna need a lot of money to pay that guy..Also to make sure that guy shut his mouth. =)

hey would like to help you in this as im pretty mush in the same situation.. how can i contact you? like can i talk to you through some messenger or something?

hey i wana know did you get married and what happened im concerned!

Get a syringe(the one used to give children their mediCine orally) and fill it with fake blood (can be purchased on ebay). Before sex go to the bathroom and insert deep into your vagina. Make sure he doesn’t find the evidence. Alternatively try http://www.hymenshop.com/. I’m not sure how their product works but just thought it would help.
There are too many people here with opinions but not enough answers. All the best hun x.

hey designer. I saw this post 2009 and its 2012…I have a friend witha similar situation. Can you please let me know what happened?

There is any way I can communicate with you i’m from middle east too and i’m having the same problem i don’t know what to do though and i have been through alot

^^^The person who originally posted this question (known here as OP) is no longer a member of fluther. You two can send each other private messages however.

Do the surgery! You will be fine.