I’m probably the last person who should be commenting on this because I have absolutely no experience raising kids but I would say that making a big deal out of it (i.e. all of the methods you listed) is probably the wrong approach.

I think the best course of action would be to speak properly in front of your sister: never swear, try to limit her exposure to any uncouth language, and don’t respond to her when she swears, either negatively or positively. Just ignore it like it didn’t happen.

She’s only three. She’ll get the idea.

At that age, every one of her caretakers would need to consistently refrain from using profanity or exposing her to it through music, TV, movies, cell phone chatter, etc.

As Jamspoon noted, giving her attention for doing the right thing will be better for a 3 year old. You could try filling a bowl or a jar with some hot wheels, and each time she curses 1 gets taken away. Then at the end of the day she gets to play with the remaining cars. Next day, new slate—start from scratch with all the cars back in the bowl/jar. This is also a fun way to sneak in some math :)

I don’t know of the best way to break the habit. She learned it somewhere. Think about that.

But I will guarantee that how you are dealing with it is the wrong approach.

I can’t imagine how the child would learn not to repeat what she hears by having painful substances put into her mouth. That would make me want to swear. The “washing out” is symbolic only, and how can a symbol with no meaning behind it have any effect? She is at the age where repeating what she hears is one of the biggest tasks she has, and she is accomplishing it, apparently very well.

It is her models who are to blame, and it is they who must be corrected. She is too young to know that some words are “bad” when she constantly hears them spoken around her. Why should she be punished for the behavior of the adults who influence her?

I know someone whose 6 year old brother was watching “South Park” regularly and began swearing, but stopped once he was cut off from the show. Don’t expose her to bad language at any time if it is possible, and monitor TV shows, music, that she hears. Make sure the babysitters don’t swear around her, particularly on the phone, and let them know about the situation so they’ll be careful to monitor their language.

JP is right, she’s been learning it somewhere, so think of all sources it could come from and cut them off. She doesn’t know any better, she doesn’t know it’s bad. But if she doesn’t hear it, chances are she won’t remember it. If she continues to do it as she gets older, explain it to her when she can comprehend that it is bad, and hopefully it will stop.

Well she knows its bad because she corrects herself sometimes and shes too cute for ME to get onto and I am to close to her. I guess she knows that I do not make a big deal out of it so she doesnt say it in front of me but her mom says it is a huge problem for her and she says when I babysit she walks in and just watches us and says that she acts like a little angel around me but then when she walks in she is the complete opposite, so what is making her so this?

Please remember that this little girl is Three Years Old!! A very young and tender age. At this age, her brain is operating at full throttle, and she could be learning many foreign languages, if she were exposed to them. She could also be learning interesting and complicated English words, if she were exposed to them. Instead, she seems to be exposed to “bad” words that you don’t want her to say—so she is punished for doing what she should be doing—learning!

If you don’t like the words she is saying, explain to her what they mean and why you don’t want her saying them in front of other people. Of course, you have given her power by reacting so strongly to the words—and given what I guess might be a pretty powerless situation for her, she will not quickly give up what little power she has gained.

In addition to lovingly telling her that there are some words not to say, of course, stop having the adults around her say them…how else would she learn them? And begin to pay attention to the things that you like that she does. Play with her—this is a great time for imaginative play. Don’t park her in front of the TV. And don’t ever punish her by hurting her. You will only build hate and resentment—and all this will come back to you tripled when she is older.