It is both man and woman’s nature to have orgasms/ejaculations, more so for men because of the different subcontinents motivators that drive us as animals – men are “programmed” to spread their seed (originally done by having sex with women, now done by that and masturbating), women are “programmed” to have sex with the best possible mate and not the most mates. However we are strong capable humans who can override our base needs and desires, which is why some people choose to not enjoy stimulation.
@ubersiren – based on what you’ve said, I believe your husband has an unhealthy relationship with pornography. Generally people don’t feel guilty after viewing porn. The fact that he does would indicate that he believes it is problematic and thus that is the only reason he needs to seek support for his problem. I will make no judgment as to whether he is addicted or not to it as I do not have any legal or educational capacity to do so, however one does not need to be addicted to something before the item causes problems in one’s life or relationship, and this is the case here.
I agree with others who have said this is a symptom of a bigger issue in your relationship. If he wants to stop and has vocalized that thought, great, what steps is he taking to do so? Is he attending support groups? Are the two of you going on walks so that he’s not left with himself in his hands? What are you doing to support his decision other than catching him in the act, and when you do catch him, what do you do? The reason I ask this is because your previous answers do not contain the answer to this question.
Finding an “emotional fuck buddy” is not equal in any way, shape, or form, to your husband using pornography. I’m even more perplex by this line: I specifically said “boyfriend” so not to be confused with “fuck buddy.” Boyfriend as in reliable go-to-guy whenever she feels the itch. If this is the way you feel, then why are you married to your husband? Your husband should be the one satisfying your emotional and physical itches, and your girlfriends (and some men) can contribute to helping you express your emotions in a way that does not damage the integrity of your marriage (the commitment you and your husband made to each other). But to actively seek out another man with whom to only have an emotional relationship, without prior agreement of both people, is way worse than your husband finding physical release through the use of pornography. It’s worse than having a sexual affair in my mind.
I strongly suggest the two of you go to a couples sex therapist to help with resolving the issue. And if your husband is not willing to do so, nor willing to do anything else to solve the problem he has admitted to having and wanting to fix, then I believe that says a lot about his commitment to the relationship and to his wife’s happiness. Talk is cheap, after all, you’ve likely already seen this in the “excuses” he comes up with.