I’d try to get to Paris Hilton’s house ‘cause if anyone’s gonna eat me, I figure it might as well be her.

Great question. I don’t really have a zombie plan to the dismay of my more prepared friends. I told one of them to find and rescue me if the day comes. Or I could get some really sturdy stilts and just walk around as though they weren’t even there. If worse comes to worse I think I could get some bunt object and blindly windmill my way out of a sticky situation. My arms would be going to fast they couldn’t get to my brain. My house is one story so I couldn’t barricade it well. There is a close by military base that might just take me in though, they might be set up for weak and defenseless refugees like me.

Three steps ahead of you.

Wouldn’t it be more fun to be a zombie? I will just sit back and listen to all of your plans so then that way I will know how to get to you when I do become a zombie.

I think I’ll just wait for asmonet to save us all.

@asmonet niice, I like it.

@mrswho and by the way, I like the tall sturdy stilts, very unique, I haven’t heard that one before.

I would find Chuck Norris.

I will so pull a Hot Fuzz and ride around on a horse with semi-automatic weapons.
I can ride, and I think guns are pretty much point and click. From what I’ve seen. ;)

and actually, traveling at the first point of a break out is a terrible idea. Panic and disorder amuck, you are sure to get in some sort of accident. I’d say find a place to stay low (or high in some cases) to plan your escape. Unless of course you lived by the ocean. then you could leave any time you wanted.

I will be one of the first zombies coming for you. I played a zombie in a professional Halloween setting, so I would welcome the infection. BRAAAAIINNS!!!!

Flame throwers are good. Indiscriminate but good.

Not if you’re within ten minutes of the nearest super stores, and 40 mins to the nearest severely unpopulated mountains.

Then you haul ass as soon as the news hits.

Preferably in my car. ;)

@darwin, actually flame throwers are terrible ideas for zombies since they don’t feel pain, and will just run towards your barricades and burn them down, and likely you with them =(

^Has a point.

Well, I think to better answer this question, we must clearify what type of zombies are they? Are they the slow kind (Like in Shawn of the Dead) or the fast rage filled ones (Like in 28 Days/Weeks Later) ?

Monk’s Spade

WHY did you ask this awesome Zombie question right when I’m supposed to be sleeping because it’s the end of Spring Break? You sir, suck.

And you clearly hate me.

Do “the infected” count as zombies?

Yes I think I would head for the mountains as well.

I think it’s fair to say a slow zombie wouldn’t stand a chance, so for the sake of this question, we’ll say they are fast running undead zombies like in Dawn of the Dead (the most recent version).

@asmonet. Lurve for your Zombie Survival Kit from my question of 2 months ago. =)

My answer to this question would be to get one of @asmonet‘s Zombie Survival Kits and take refuge in a high rise building. Elevated locations are always easier to defend.

I also own a number of medieval weapons. Including, bows, staffs, a morning star, swords and an axe.

@RandomMrdan – But I am talking about super-duper, vitamin enhanced Hollywood flamethrowers. You know, sort of like the rifles pioneer women had in the movies – they fire one shot up into the air and five attackers fall off their horses dead.

I wonder if mistletoe works on zombies too… wikipedia claims it works on werewolves.

Oh, I could use one of those rifles.

edged weapons are good, but can easily get wedged in joints, making you a bit vulnerable. I think the melee weapon of choice would have to be the Crowbar since it can be used for jabbing into eye sockets, and used for prying open locked doors if needed. The cross bow would be good though for some stealth like kills while on the run not to bring attention to yourself.

/drool.

i want one of those gatling guns with exploding shells. But my plan would be to go to some harbor with some of my friends and hijack a really bad ass yacht (with sails) and then live off the fish in the sea and avoid the zombies by just sailing out to sea and various deserted islands. its the only way.

Head to the nearest pub (ie Winchester) and win back your girlfriend at the same time.

@Darwin I don’t think those are easy to find. You can’t just walk into a Walmart and ask for a heavy duty Hollywood flamethrower…

I used to know a guy who built crossbows. Nice!

Dude, MORNING STAR.

I rest my case.

Oh, I did forget we have a crossbow.

@darwin sprinting zombies on fire trying to eat your brains = very bad news.

You also have to be careful about getting infected zombie blood all up in your grill (if you’re dealing with the kind of zombies that can spread that way).

Seriously, guys. I ain’t making this up. Just come chill at my house.

@asmonet. I’d like to revise my answer. Since you already have an arsenal and survival kits, I’ll move in with you. I’ll do odd jobs, housekeeping, and all of your bidding in exchange for protection. Deal? =)

@asmonet, the morning star would work well for someone trained to use it, but would require a bit of precision, and might tire you faster from using it in a longer brawl with the undead.

Can I have another tiara?

If yes, then we have an accord.

Where’s my crate of 80s records that I don’t like anymore?

@RandomMrDan would there be any hesitation to kill me if I turned into a zombie being your brother and all?

Maybe your weakling arms would tire.
Don’t worry I won’t let them eat you or your brains.

@RandomMrAdam – Try pawn shops. You would be surprised what turns up. Of course, the Dollar Store has some options for build-it-yourself. I once made an alien death ray out of a night light from there. Or was it from Walgreens?

I’m with Bluefreedom, I say that we beg asmonet for her protection and cower. I’m a good cowerer. We can give her Australia in the New (post zombie) World Order.

@RandomMrAdam Don’t worry adam, if your brother can’t do the deed, I shall without hesitation

@mrswho Winchester FTW

@asmonet – You drive a Honda?

Haha, you guys just reminded me of the It’s Always Sunny pawn shop scene when mac and charlie buy a wedding dress, drugs, a gun and a live grenade.

@Darwin: I drive a Mazda :-p

@mrswho: Will there still be Kangas?

@asmonet – but you said you have an accord.

My husband is much more prepared than me. All I know is move towards the cold.
We would definitely not barricade..we are way too close to a major city. We’d be on the move for Canada. Stopping for supplies on the way, mainly swords but definitely guns too.
The mapping of Walmarts and stores like that is a really good idea.

@LKidKyle Thanks. That’s what true friends are for.

@asmonet Yup, but maybe some of them would be zombie Kanagas… and zombie wombats and zombie Hugh Jackman, but besides that, it would be pretty sweet.

@Darwin: lol, I meant an agreement. :P

yeah, as long as there are fast running undead zombies outside, potentially on fire from Darwin, I’m staying in my barricaded area and laying low…. which reminds me, I need to add extinguishers to the list for the undead apocalypse.

Can I still violate Zombie Jackman?
Cause I’m cool with that.

@asmonet I know. Just tweaking!

God damn it! I knew it. I need sleep.

@asmonet Hey, its your continent, do with it what you will.

Can zombies swim?

You’re all invited. :)

No, they cannot swim. They lack the coordination and buoyancy.

@RandomMrAdam I think they can walk under water without needing to breathe.

They’re dead weight. Get it?

.. :’(

damn it.

they float…I think. but according to the “zombie survival guide” they can walk underwater and get carried by underwater currents to remote locations… the chances are pretty remote that you’d have to worry about it though.

Then can zombies infect fish and other creatures then? What are the rules on cross contamination? Because this can change everything…

Are there zombie jellies? ? ?

I wish I didn’t have to sleep.

From the experts:

“Can zombies swim?

That’s another difficult question to answer because we really don’t know what type of muscle functions they’ll have. Swimming requires a complex coordination of movements of major muscle groups which the zombie may or may not be capable of. Most likely, they would avoid the water.

However, dead bodies in water do bloat and end up floating, sometimes for long distances. Also, dead corpses decay slower in water so the zombies would potentially have a time advantage in the water.

Your best bet if zombies do attack is not to isolate yourself on a boat where you could run out of supplies, be stranded, and eventually die anyway. You would be better off traveling to an island that has limited contact with any mainland continent. It’s a safe bet that if zombies attacked North America or Europe, one-way plane tickets to Australia would be a hot commodity.”
http://www.zombiesecrets.com/p1031.html

JELLIES ARE IMMUNE DAMN IT.

studies have shown that zombies will tolerate fresh flesh of living animals, but prefer human flesh and brain far more than animals.

Aha! So we’re all safe on my continent!
And they probably can’t swim! See? I’m totally an expert here.

I’m sad now, I asked this awesome question, and need to get to bed =( I work at 8am, and it’s nearly 1am.

what is the protocol for zombies who walk on the flight line?

I’d imagine its shoot to kill

well, I’d follow the use of force model…but once they break red, game on.

Same here, I have school.

Now, I get to be mean and ask Zombie questions in sociology.

Do the rights of the Zombie minority really matter? Discuss.

lol sweet, you should write that doctrine for the air force.

On that note, I am going to bed lest I become a zombie in the morning.

Same. But oh, how I regret it.

I actually was going to suggest jokingly to give an impromptu speech on basic survival tips and tricks when and if the zombie apocalypse occurred.

nice. totally do it.

How do you know a zombie is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.

What do little zombies play?
Corpses and Robbers.

Where do zombies go for cruises?
The Deaditerranean Sea.

What did the zombie’s friend say when he introduced him to his girlfriend?
Good grief! Where did you dig her up from?

What do you call a zombie in a belfry?
A dead ringer.

What did the zombie eat after its teeth were pulled out?
The dentist.

what’s funny, is I would totally do it in a serious manner.

@Bluefreedom how unhelpful in the discussion of how to survive during the outbreak :)

I think we all decided, your best bet is to find me.

:-P

@RandomMrAdam. I’m sorry. My sense of humor is decaying rapidly this evening. Ouch. =)

@Bluefreedom Good one, Sir.

And you should probably heed The Word.

@asmonet I do own that book, and I’ve read it cover to cover =)

High-five! Someone stole my copy. :’(

@asmonet. I might have to purchase that booklet just for shits & giggles. lol

I approve of anything done for the sake of poops and laughs.

I see someone mentioned that zombies cannot swim, but then, they do not need to. They would simply walk across the bottom of the ocean as they did in the book by Max Brooks entitled World War Z, An Oral Account of the Zombie War. You will not be safe on that island.

This Guy seems to be a step ahead of everyone. He is already looking to profit on everyone elses misfortune…

I don’t think a zombie’s senses would be fully functional at the bottom of the ocean, and it wouldn’t lead him to an island populated by people… if anything, the current of the ocean would just take him where ever the current goes.

@evelyns_pet_zebra But how would the zombies find their way there? It would be saver, people would be hard to track under water assuming that zombies do any tracking at all. I don’t think they do.

@mrswho and evelyns pet zebra Zombies use all their senses equally, which means they would almost be useless under water. Assuming they don’t put on goggles first. But scent, would be pretty much gone, hearing under water would be fine, but hearing anything above the surface, probably not.

If the zombies exist in mass numbers, there would be no tracking involved, they would simply head out into the ocean, and eventually, they would find other land forms. In a world overrun by zombies, there would be no safe place. Read the book, and realize you cannot escape the zombie hordes, unless you steal the space shuttle. By then, even the NASA engineers would be zombies. There is no escape, you are all destined to become Purina Zombie Chow.

@evelyns pet zebra I don’t think anyone using fluther even knows how to operate a space shuttle. Just throwing that out there…

Hey, if the idiots in Battlefield Earth can fly jet planes, then I’m sure some Flutherites (and we do have pretty smart folks on here) could figure it out.

@RandomMrAdam. I’ve been trained on how to pilot the Space Shuttle. You’d be in good hands.

I think one could survive freezing environments, and since the zombies are dead, and decay. they’re bodies would slowly come to a halt in those types of environments. So I think we’d be pretty safe way up in mountains or, north and south poles. those ice burgs are really high up from the water too, probably impossible to climb for a zombie.

Let’s hope Bluefreedom doesn’t become a zombie before we get him to fire up the shuttle.

@evelyns_pet_zebra. My co-pilot is Chuck Norris. No one, and I mean NO ONE, is going to be messing with me.

I don’t think humans would survive long in Antartica, unless you find shelter in some scientific research base, as the temperatures get down to 100 below zero with 100 mph winds. The zombies would freeze, and frozen meat doesn’t decay, so until global warming takes over, you’d be safe. That is, until your food and power runs out.

well, I’m sure we could construct some sort of structure to hold up to the cold weathers, I mean after all, animals do live there.

penguins live there.

@RandomMrDan Penguins… but what if all the penguins are infected…

and the zombie penguins would find you soon enough.

yay, we can live off penguin meat! mmm happy feet!

Holy crap, a zombie penguin! Someone has to post a picture of one of those!

Question—I understand that if you get bit by a zombie then you become a zombie, but what if you bite the zombie?

Even Chuck Norris would be helpless against a horde of zombie penguins.

@RandomMrAdam. You give him rabies?

have I told you guys how much I <3 you lately? There is no where else I could have an actual discussion about zombies right now. And now we’re onto Zombie Penguins… such a great website.

@Bluefreedom Hmm… A zombie enraged and with rabies, probably best just not to bite them…

@RandomMrAdam I dunno but I bet it would taste AWFUL

@RandomMrAdam. I concur.

ok, I really need to get to bed now, I’ll see you all tomorrow.

G’Night RandomMrdan, don’t let the zombie bedbugs bite!

Who else right now is making a Zombie Bashing Playlist right now to put onto their playlist for one of those Just In Case scenario’s because killing zombies is probably no fun without music to go with it. If so—what songs are you putting on there? I’m putting a few of my personal favorites (George Michaels – Careless Whisper, Marvin Gaye – Lets get it on, among others…)

I think hard and heavy rock like Bullet For My Valentine, Drowning Pool, Six Feet Under and Metallica’s early stuff would be best for bashing the crap out of zombies.

Now here’s what I say go to some were with lots a weed or if you are like me you already have it then get the zombies baked as hell then the will be to busy in circles and dancing in the nude to notice me and my friends grabbing a nice military craft like a aircraft carrier with supplies to last thousands a couple years. Plus lotsa missles guns and explosives

@evelyns_pet_zebra I disagree, nothing spells out killing zombies like some George Michael “Faith”... I need soothing music whilst bashing in zombie heads with a baseball bat…

Or at least Holst’s Mars, Bringer of War, Night on Bald Mountain by Modest Mussgorsky and Hayden’s Drumroll Symphony. I want something that’s going to go good with my adrenaline rush. something with a fierce beat and vicious percussion.

Oh and my zombie
Smashing music has got my vavaldi and batoven on it perfect and there would be me playing percussion aka the 12 gauge

@twidleywink your plan to defend yourself against fast running undead zombies…is to get them high on weed…good luck sir, but I think you’d be best seeking out Asmonet, she has a plan. =). I do like your music of choice though =)

A 12 guage is nice, but for taking off a zombies head in one shot, you need a 10 gauge loaded with deer slugs. Or a 30 ought 6 with two banana clips taped together.

Then again, it might bring slight humor killing Zombies to this”

Ah but weed is gonna make em slower And if at all possible stupider if humans jump off roof when high imagine a brain dead human can anyone say mass zombie suicide

@Twidleywink A dead person committing suicide? Oxymoron?

Yes! Oxymoron is me. Oxy means extremely? Right?

@Twidleywink Amazing…

Now the question is what to do after all the stones zombies are dead…er… Or what ever it is when the can’t eat
Brains anymore

@RandomMrAdam thanks for linking that song; I’ve always liked that song, but never knew the name of it.

@evelyns_pet_zebra You are welcome :) Though I believe its less about killing zombies and more about WWII, but whatever, I can still add it to my zombie killing playlist.

asmonet must be writing a book-length answer.

That or has to keep retyping to stay with us

Whatever it is, I like it, it adds suspense :)

I’ve got to go to bed soon, and the suspense is killing me. In fact, I should have went to bed an hour ago.

Yeah I gotta get up in 3 hours but I just coudnt resist zombies at 1am

well, I’m out, this was fun, I really enjoyed myself. I’ll have to check asmonet’s answer tomorrow.

I would try to confuse them by attempting to eat THEIR brains.

2 hours and 144 responses? You guys sure love your zombies!

I would have the difficult decision of choosing the shotgun or the katana.

This is making me want to play Resident Evil 5 soooooo bad.

Let’s play with zombies.

maybe asmonet is now a zombie? and just keeps hitting the keyboard? I guess her super plan wasn’t that great after all =)

You can’t run. Running will get you nowhere, other than eaten very fast. Barricading is the smartest option. I live in a small to medium sized apartment building which sits on top of a hill. It is an easy building to defend (barricade the elevators and all stairs but one, defend that one), contains a lot of food and supplies, and is close to the river so I think an SOS on the roof would actually stand a chance of getting us rescued. Oh, and the hospital is next door, so I can go loot their supplies if I wanted to. Now that I think of it, it actually is one of the best places to be in if a zombie outbreak happens. I wonder if my subconscious mind played any part in me choosing to live there…

I think i’m screwed. I don’t have guns, bombs, swords, morning stars, or anything.
And what if I get all that stuff but we get attacked by vampires? I’m double screwed.
I better get over to asmonets house asap.

One word: bacon!

I dropped a Clementine on my keyboard when I went to bed, apparently citrus likes to Fluther too.

And shush. My plan was and is amazing.

I live in a concrete building, two floors abowe ground…. close enough to the next to get a makeshift rope over to the next building, but way to far to jump or fall…. Close by a river, one entrance at ground level, swords and clubs by the bed… even a store accebile 1 minute from the door in case I need to get food fast….
And All the electricity is under the soil here, so small chances of losing power early… :)

Between me and Staalesen, we got this shit covered, ya’ll.

@asmonet Damn right….
Even my balcony has holes to shot from and still be in cover….

Fuck. Yes.

i don’t feel like i’m prepared for this right now. if it happens soon, i guess i’ll just go by the old ‘if you can’t beat em, join em’ rule…

hey, check that out. I’m almost at 3k lurve!

You’re Welcome.

@asmonet – Noblesse oblige. Good to see. Zombies don’t have that quality.

That’s why we can kill ‘em.

I HAVE a plan, but lack the funds.

-Build house on 15 foot high cocrete reinforced stilts with a remote activate ladder (with backup ladder locked in a nearby trunk)
-Solar powered room generator
-Full inside garden for food
-Raid any and all nearby stores for supplies
-Landmines easily spotted, so only zombies would trip them and will double as an early zombie dectection system
-Emergency rocket launcher. I say emergency because it is highly impractical for anything other than chaos
-90 day food rations, in case garden dies

I would immediatly round up all survivors, do a full body inspection, then get the most capable to go get supplies with me.

@fortis, I like it, good plan.

@fortris I will take one of those full body inspections, as long as I can launch the rockets in an emergency situation of course.

@fortris (hehe what an appropriate name for your comment!) I like your idea but the fully inside garden for food and the solar power generator don’t really go hand in hand… you kinda need light for the food to grow, and if it’s enclosed securely indoors, that means UV lights and plenty of bulbs in storage. You could definitely do an area with mesh or pipes for a roof, but I doubt it would be large enough to feed all these survivors you intend to round up.

But I do like the self sufficient angle of it. Good luck getting your hands on a rocket launcher though!

The only flaw is I have yet to pick a location and primary defence system. I also need a backup plan.

@dynamic duo I forgot to mention the hole in the celing for the garden. Sorry.

How big of a hole are we talking here? It pretty much has to be a roofless room for the plants in it to grow. You might get away with putting greenhouse glass as a roof, but then it’s glass that a zombie can easily crash through.

I was telling my kids what to do in case of zombies. They think I’m nuts.

@dynamicduo I think you underestimate the size of this house. An entire GREENHOUSE will be on the side, apart from the main building. Imagine an office building only 3 floors, but on stilts, with a greenhouse on the side, and a lot of solar panels sticking out. By the way, no zombie could climb cocrete stilts 15 feet high. So I don’t have to worry about the glass UNLESS the start forming a body ramp. Thats what the rockets are for.

@fortris you are hardcore. I’m impressed.

A friend of mine mentioned that some people could be traitors. So I’m limiting my surviors to a test I will devise to prove they are strong metally and physicly. Also, the floor plan;

1st floor- Armory and defences, where I stockpile my weapons (all under lock and key)
2nd floor- Recreation, a couple Xbox 360s, PS3s, Wiis and misc. boardgames and cards.
3rd floor-Utilities and bedding,
Rooms, kitchens etc.
Roof- Greenhouse and solar panels, the garden will have a hole for rain. There will also be a very large water cathcing/filtration system.

As for the stilt system, I revised it into a cement foundation raised 15 feet off the ground. This will serve as a ration and ammo storage facility, which will house water heaters and emergency supplies.

What about waste disposal?

@fortris, let me know when this fortress of yours is done being built, I’d love to see the price tag on it, and the price tag for yearly maintenance and inspection of this beast. Seems to me you’re more likely to end up with a behemoth building with a mighty big price tag than.

And yes there are zombies that can jump a hundred feet into the air, what about those ones? Or a fast infected one? It seems your structure is only suited to the traditional mindless zombie, and I fear this may be a lethal mistake to make.

@dynamicduo You think zombies become STRONGER? No you fool! They are no stronger than us and less intelligent.

My references include 28 Days Later as well as Left 4 Dead. There are in fact zombies, people dead but still animated, who are fast and strong but still want to eat your brain. The fact that they don’t register pain, combined with plagues or worms or whatever, gives them more abilities, stoopid.

But @fortris: If you have a house on stilts they’re still gonna get in. The more the bodies pile on one another the easier it is to get to the top. Unless you think that mid battle you’re going to deal with the bodies. And never mind the fact that you would need a whole crew and at least a year to dig the foundation to put a building of THAT SIZE on stilts if you could even manage it then. My point is, people don’t take the zombie threat seriously, as such there is no widespread plan of action put in place by any government. So, it stands to reason that if a zombie threat did appear, we would have little to know warning.

Friends, you’re all still welcome to join me in the deserted, lush and beautiful Shenandoah Valley and Appalachian Mountains. You’ll be safe. Promise!

And besides that, what dynamicdup is saying brings to the table an important point. One must have a temporary immediate emergency plan, ie my survival kit and several permanent plans to deal with any number of different zombie subcategories or a combination of two or more.

@dynamicduo 28 days later was complete crap in my eyes, and the developers of Left 4 Dead even said “The zombies move faster, because if we had used traditional zombies they would pose no challenge to the player.”

@asmonet I revised it to a concrete foundation in my last response. Also, that was what the rocket was for, clearing bodies in a pinch.

As a general note, I’m not going to build this unless:

A. A zombie thread is at least remotely likely.
B. I actually have funding, like owning a company.
C. I CARE enough.

Other than that, if zombies do start waddling around, I’m pretty sure I could convince people.

BONUS: I’m currently creating an image of the full building in photoshop, along with schematics and floor plans.

So to clear away the bodies from THE FOUNDATION OF YOUR HOME you would launch a rocket at it?

You gonna die.

@asmonet I said IN A PINCH. Also, the rocket blast would sctter them (I would shoot out a side window) JUST FINE. I don’t think it will hurt the FIVE FOOT THICK concrete wall that is my foundation. I’m working on the photoshop schematics, chill for a second.

Okay, but the shock is still going to damage the surrounding area, shift the ground. It’s a dumb move man. And zombies just don’t scatter near explosions.

IN.
A.
PINCH.

Anything’s better than actual infiltration.

The schematics are harder to draw in photoshop than I expected. I will create a rough draft in paint, then add specifics in photoshop tomorrow after I finish my paper.

Thanks @asmonet for bringing up the horde of bodies issue, I had forgotten to mention it.

Sadly, @fortris, there are different types of zombies even if you don’t want to believe it. At least I would certainly feel more secure planning for a variety of zombies as opposed to placing my bets. If you are comfortable assuming there are only slow zombies, then I guess this is a risk you are willing to take.

And clearing the pile of zombies via a rocket will kill you and destroy your house and all survivors in it, especially if it’s on concrete pillars. I can’t think of one pinch where this would be justified, well except if all was lost, and I would rather go with a gun to the brain than dying in rubble, a much more guaranteed solution.

I’m looking forward to your schematic :)

Yeah, see blowing up your foundation does nothing but hurt you. Either you get injured, get killed, or weaken the foundation and prolong the inevitable. All options fail.

JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE READ. I change tv pillars to a foundation, and as more of my friends (and my mother) stated, a nuclear strike is likely during a zombie apocalypse. So now it’s a MOTHERF*CKING NUCLEAR BUNKER. Find one zombie capable of penetrating that.

The schematic will reveal a LOT about what I’m talking about.

Okay, fortris. It seems you’ve taken our comments as a serious criticism of your zombie fantasy.

All of us are here for fun. Not for mental breakdowns. Chill the fuck out.

lolz, zomg

I’m building this. Like actually building this. Not FOR zombies, but it shall be inpenatrable for WW3

You’re fifteen, I rather doubt you are building this.

I said I’m GOING to build this. Do you people actually read the comments or just skim?

“I’m building this.”

That sounds present tense-y to me. Even so, how are you planning to pay for this?

Nuclear bunker. Self-explanitory. If nuclear war has any chance, I will get funding.

Or it could be a hotel. Or apartment building.

I also said I was going to build this a few posts back, I misspoke. (misstyped?)

alright guys, lets focus back on what you would be doing in case of a Zombie Apocalypse, Instead of bickering.

I have the basement schematic prepared. Its not pretty, but it shows the basic plan.

http://g.imagehost.org/0397/Zombie_Schematics_Basement.png

If a nuclear threat happens, money will either be worthless or very, very hard to pry from someone’s hands. Never mind trying to organize construction with bombs going off.

Why are there no hallways? ~

1. It will be built BEFORE the bombs. Durh hey.
2. Its the basement, no need.

1st floor (The stairs were misplaced in the basement, they should be in this position. Also, I didn’t put in support pillars)

http://g.imagehost.org/0498/Zombie_Schematics_1st_floor.png

Windows are a mistake. Small six inch vertical openings in the concrete would provide maximum protection and advantages during a fight, provided they know how to wield weapons. Windows can be walked through.

Lord, this is fun.

You do remember that this is 15 feet off the ground, right? I also never specified what size the windows are, so every window but the entrance will be six inches.

Again, 15 feet. OH WAIT! I need a side window bigger because of the rocket launcher. Also, every window has a titanium shutter. (its nuke proof)

And here is the actual bulding side view

http://g.imagehost.org/0372/Zombie_Schematics_Building_plan.png

Titanium shutter now? I don’t think it would be nuke proof if it had any gap in it, the radiation would likely leak in.

Plus you’re talking serious money now, at least a million bucks if not multiples of that.

How do you propose a nuke proof window shutter?

Also, this is 2000 square feet. Its the size of a motherf*cking office building. Its gonna cost millions if I’m lucky.

2,000 square feet is a modern day California or Florida two story one basement house. That’s not big at all. 20,000 is an office.

You simply do not have windows in a nuke proof shelter. It needs to be completely sealed from the external environment with a heavy duty air purifier and even then that won’t get the radiation gone.

But nuke proof and zombie proof are totally different things.

forget building anything on stilts, there are too many complications….

Either move to the arctic tundra somewhere like Antarctica, or just go buy a nice sized yaht, and go island to island until you find something suitable for you to inhabit, and easy to defend. Like an island that has elevated cliffs around it on all sides. If an island had natural walls like that, you’d never have to worry about a zombie getting into it since they can’t climb it without equipment.

Building something like what you’re describing Fortis is just too expensive, and you would have to worry about people with brains taking it from you, robbing you, or anything of the sort. You have to remember if something like this did happen, it’s going to be chaotic, and people are going to do anything to try and stay alive. So just buy a nice boat, and get enough supplies on it to last you a few months until you find a suitable place to setup camp and start a new civilization free of zombies/infected.

I think I’ll call it Dantopia.

This is starting to remind me of when I used to think up clubhouses with my friends when I was seven. There were moats of fire, giant basement pools with slides from every floor and fountains of tang.

And it was all totally gonna fit in that oak tree.

@asmonet. If you ever get around to building something like that, I’d like to visit there and be a club house guest. :P

I’ll take down the laser defenses just for you. :)

@dynamicduo I’m talking PER FLOOR. Not total.
@RandomMrdan I dropped stilts LONG ago. And what the hell are you rambling about? You can’t survive better than zombies in the arctic.

@fortis yes you can, zombies don’t put arctic clothing on you dimwit. They’d freeze. And secondly, how the hell would they get there? Swim through frozen water? We have the ability to build structures, with heating (it keeps you warm). We can and do survive in areas like that. We can adapt to new environments.

Building a bunker into the ground is a bad idea by the way, you’d essentially be putting yourself into the bunker with limited supplies just waiting to run out.

Why not just build a rocket to take you to the moon?

@RandomMrdan Umm, how are your supplies less limited? Also, greenhouse. Its called vegetables. You can’t grow those in the arctic.

I remember when we worried about nuclear war in the eighties, we just sat aournd and did bongs, figuring we might as well be stoned when the big one hit. :-)

@fortris you could still have some sort of green house in the arctic. But it may seem more practical to just find an island like I mentioned though. One with really steep cliffs for walls so it’d be impossible for zombies to climb up it. And instead of buying a nice boat, you could just steal one from a marina, and just load it up with supplies to last you a while.

@RandomMrdan Think about a nuclear bunker for a second. Do you honestly think a zombie could penetrate it? And the underground passage serves as a method of scavenging.

@fortris scavenging for food in a tunnel underground? seriously? And you plan to live a good life bunkered in? What do you plan to do while you’re down there? Wait to run out of bugs to scavenge on? I don’t want to make your idea sound dumb, but all you’d be doing in that bunker is waiting to die, or waiting for a time to come out of the tunnel with is TBA.

Mmmyep.

JESUS CHRIST, THE TUNNEL LEADS TO THE CITY. It’s not just a tunnel.

If you ever had an occasion to have sex with a zombie, would that be the same thing as experiencing a ‘dead lay’?

I know it’s a little off topic. I’m pretty bored right now.

oh, so you’ve built an underground city, that has one path out?

That means there’s one path in too.
And connected to a major metropolitan area no less, where zombies will be roaming free. There, you’re dead.

Dan, high-five.

Blue, yes it would be. ;)

I think Fortris would be a goner if the zombie apocalypse happened. He’d be digging a hole in the ground, and would get ransacked by a pack of zombies.

WHY DO I BOTHER WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?

The tunnel has a NUKE PROOF EXIT TOO, DURHOY.

I have a better idea…. I’ll just get out my shrink ray gun, and shrink all the zombies, and then squash them wearing my boots.

What is a Durhoy?

Okay, you know what? Screw this, I’m going outside.

@fortris – Okay, but watch out for zombies.

I think I’ll just build a space shuttle, and fly to the moon and create a city inside a big bubble.

It’s about damn time you saw the sun, fortris.

I like the going to the arctic idea. I could build a shack on skies and put jets on the back. It would have computer controlled robotic arms out the sides to kill zombie penguins and harvest their entrails for research, all whill cruising along at about 60MPH. Now their are a bunch of flaws with that plan. So it would most likely be a summer home once I get board of hanging with asmonet. And chances are I would eather kill myself or be a zombie very quickly if this were to happen.

Hey. I resent that.

I never get boring, damn it.

@RandomMrdan if you get to the moon say hi to Dracula and Elvis for me. Dr. McNinja…

Sportsman’s Warehouse, because everyone would try for Walmart. After civilization collapsed completely, the majority of people were dead and the survivors were starting to think about the future, I’d try to get to my friend’s farm in Minnesota. We’d have to find someone to convert the tractors to run on badly refined corn or something, but it would be ideal. Can’t wait!

I has another idea… How about making a bunch of T800’s to fight the zombies, but they would have a self destruct mechanism when the zombie virus gets down to a manageable level for the remaining humans to clean up. Oh and the T800’s would have to abide by the three laws, if they were to be sentient.

The new Terminator movie was pretty crappy I thought. But I suppose they would have an easy job of smashing zombie skulls.

we would just need a simple way to then deal with all the terminators after getting rid of all the zombies…

we could just build ourselves gundam suits, and crush them.

what would we do with the suits once we have crushed all the zombies? We could just give them to a select few and then be worshiped by the remaining human survivors…

@tehrani625 No, we could scrap them and build the Enterprise and go where no man has gone before.

@fortris – I thought “where no man has gone before” was the women’s head (aka bathroom for you landlubbers).

@fortris then whats the point of killing all the zombies when we could just build the enterprise and then tell the suckers to suck our warp dust…

one reason i wont answer is because if i told u it would no longer be a secure location when the need for it arises because everyone else from this post will be ready guns in hand to take ur secure location from those of u who actully said it on here have fun

@kitsuneskyy you won’t answer a question that is hypothetical, and likely to never happen for your own safety from us, who don’t know who you are or where you live…sounds like you just can’t come up with any ideas to top what we’ve already come up with =)

He’s just jealous. Our secure locations are better and more hidden than his secure location any day.

hang out with my insipid cousin.
he could bore any dead creature into nonexistence.

I would head to the mall.

Well, I guess ChazMaz would die a terrible death along with anyone else who showed up at the mall.

I would stockpile some weapons and ammo, then stay at a nice Motel 6 and use their free wifi to google zombie survival tips and enjoy a wonderful continental breakfast every morning. That seems practical, right?

@badapple that was my plan B, but I’m thinking of switching that to plan A now actually….but only if they serve actual breakfast foods, not that bagel and spread crap.

@RandomMrdan I agree. I would insist that they at least have a waffle maker which would also double as a weapon against the zombies.

My campus has an excellent library with few ground-level entrances and lots of slit windows all around the upper stories. That’s the current refuge-of-choice for my friends and me. We poll again every month or so. Only problem is lack of active defenses.

@badapple I doubt the first priority of survival is NOT to maintain free WiFi at the Motel. They’re gonna charge you for that shit.

Gather supplies and weapons. Head for the mountains (a friend owns a place there.)
Make it our HQ. Gather wandering survivors. Raid-out for supplies and the occasional seek and destroy zombies. Merge or collaborate with other Survivor factions, conquer if necessary.
Get a couple of zombie pets for entertainment, to study them, and maybe make use of or train them.
Live of the rest of my days like Mad Max, but with more women and plenty of zombie hacking.

My objective would be to head towards a museum or somewhere in order to acquire a suit of armour. As long as I can get to it and fit it on before any zombies get to me its pretty much game over for them :D I would of course need a weapon as well – any blunt object would probably be my starter weapon and I would next try to find a blade (dual katanas would be awesome but probably hard to find). I would also need to find a vehicle and food.

Once I have all of the above I would try to find a safe spot where I could store food, weapons, and sleep as well as safehouse any survivors I find. Low tech facilities would include a house with the stairs knocked out – and the ultimate one would be a castle with an uber moat surrounding it.

Though the chances of me getting all this is slim and there is a high probability i’ll just die in my sleep and come back as a zombie as I sleep late.

dual katanas would be awesome but probably hard to find

Not if you are in the right museum.

@Darwin I am talking about ones that are new, are incredibly sharp, and are in good condition. I would have thought museums wouldn’t house actual weapons like that (for security purposes) even if they were cased and secured by a billion and one lasers, trip mines, rolling boulders and spikes.

@Ame_Evil – Yes, museums do house actual weapons like that, especially if they are related to their statement of purpose. Even the little museum I used to work for had a spectacular weapons collection, including beautiful and well-cared for katanas. In fact, we had a group of volunteers whose job was to keep all of the weapons in tip-top shape.

We did prevail upon the board to sell the Nazi machine guns, however, as they really weren’t relevant to our mission and we needed the cash to take care of the rest of the weapons.

Bear in mind that only about 1/10 of a museum’s collection is on display at any given time. The rest is in storage behind locked doors.

If I were anywhere other than at school I’d head for the nearest truck stop. Convenience stores plus a gas station (fuel and defense) and, with any luck, some sort of weapons. Crowbars, if nothing else. Then it’s time to batten down the hatches and dig in.

Worst case scenario is that I’m stuck on the highway in upstate NY in late fall (no way I’d be in upstate NY after late fall or before late spring). Then I would panic and get screwed.

I’d barricade myself in WalMart. Everything I’d need for quite a long time is there.

@rangerr bad idea…you along with all kinds of people would create a bad situation that you couldn’t control. You’re not going to be able to just go into a Wal-Mart and lock the place down when a zombie outbreak hits. Going there right away for supplies might be doable, but you’d have to make it quick to avoid the panic that would ensue.

@RandomMrdan So then where would you suggest heading? I live in the southern US, so it’s a long way to colder areas.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not trying to pump gas with zombies on the loose.

@rangerr well, ideally, you should have supplies (guns, ammo, generator, food, water) set aside so you can bunker in your house or where ever you live. Ideally a two story house, so you can knock out the stairs and prevent the zombies from getting up to the second floor.

So, when the shit hits the fan, you can let the chaos happen, and once the dust settles you can go out and get more supplies, and try and find a haven to try and live safely….islands, places like that out in the ocean.

At least that is how I would like to do it.

I would stay on the road with my good old 1911 and a couple of mags and a whole truck full of ammo and my old nylon66

OMG i love these scenarios!—OK it also depends are we talking super-virus type zombies that can run fast and have abnormal strength or you’re run of the mill zombies? and are we talking about a short lived virus where these zombies die in 48 hrs.?—
assuming the 1st one as a possibility: boom I got my survival pack- lighter, phosphor, water purification tablets, water, 7-in-1 tool including plier and screwdriver. mini-hammer, flashlight, camera/recorder, bump keys, batteries, steel wool, emergency med kit(energy shots, bandages, crude stitching material, alcohol), fishing line, rope, toothbrush and toothpaste, knife, and a Ragnar Benson survival manual :D
For Weapons! i got: Dual Katanas, Pistol, and My trusty metal baseball bat.
Basic Plan: Keep on the move. Don’t stop for anyone. Never keep more than 5 people in your party and keep every1 armed. Kill when neccessary, infected or not, if they want to cause trouble. In an urban environment like me We would move from house to house, pillaging anything we can find and finding secure houses, basements or warehouses for temporary shelter. I would flee to the nearby foothills if things get too out of hand. Make use of any technology still operational(cars, radios etc.) Move to adjacent less populated county to avoid infected masses after surrounding resources are depleted and look for any Human Zombie Resistance organizations set up if any. That’s how we stay alive

@WolfFang I like it, and welcome to the collective.

i would move to japan. or i will go to my freinds house because he lives at te top of a mountain and his dad has a gun collection. also i would go steal a truck with a snow plow on it. then i’d go to the local pawn shop and take the best guns they have. i still need to make a survival kit though…........... they have to uzis at the pawn shop in my town, which isnt even legal but whatever.

i also already live in the mountains. i think the best place to defend against zombies would be in a castle on an island in the middle of the ocean. zombies hate water, soooooooo yeah, i think thats a good idea.

@Ame_Evil there are tons of websites that have katanas for sale. http://www.coldsteel.com/japanimperial.html this swords are really expensive but hey, during a zombie apocalypse, whos gonna make sure you pay? http://www.impactguns.com/store/ this is a cool website also. Speaking of guns, (no one is gonna answer this most likely because this question is so old, but just in case) what kind of gun would you choose against zombies? no one has even mentioned it yet i think. also, what would your melee weapon of choice be?

@helloeveryone like i said, dual pistols, make that dual glocks, and dual katanas, and my trusty metal basebal bat as a back-up melee ;)

I just realized this question is only 3 great question clicks away from getting me an award…. haha I’ve been on a mission to get awards tonight!

This was good reading material while at work… A zombie outbreak would be excellent right about now, there is nothing going on today… sigh

Once the zombie apocalypse arrives, i will take my group of survivors and lead them to Alaska or Antarctica. where it will be far too cold for any zombie to survive. they have no sustaining body heat, so they would just freeze up like frozen zombiesicles. then we would just find a supermarket or something full of food and survive off of that until we can think of our next move. that is my zombie plan lol.

My zombies have a couple of parameters. One, they would be fast – slow moving zombies just would not make an apocalypse. Two, they would have heightened sense of smell for “live humans”. Like a blind person can hear better, I would imagine a better sense of smell would occur. Three, they are foragers. After the primary source of food/energy is no longer readily available, I would imagine that zombies would just eat anything just to subsist. Since zombies are just humans with a particular food choice, I would imagine they could eat the same things. Now, here are a couple of options to go to, in my mind, with pros and cons.

Mall (where my fiancee would go)
-PROS::Metal gates would provide reasonable protection. You may not have guns, but there would be bats aplenty, knives, whatever. Also, destroying staircases could allow for a fall-back position of the 2nd floor, and the roof as a 3rd “we’re screwed” position. With a rifle on the roof, you could have great fields of fire and also have the possibility
of someone covering you while you burned the dead. Oh, batteries aplenty so you could communicate with others. The food source could be viable here for a little while – as long as power remained. Apparently my fiancee thought “dawn of the dead” had it right. I told her it was because even during an apocalypse she would still go shopping.
-CONS:: No guns, too many entrances, large space to defend. I would think that while the doors may hold out, those glass windows would be too inviting. If the zombies
figured out you were there, they would wear down the gates – and I just don’t picture those gates holding up to continued zombie relentless attacks. If there was a parking garage attached, even worse. Also, if the power should fail, or the water source be infected – you would be holed up in a deathtrap.

Sailing Boat (My preferred route)
– PROS:: Quick, available (i live near the coast), low/no cost method from extricating myself (and a few choice others) to a place of safety. Also, you are in the open water and constantly moving. I’m not talking a lake boat, although that “might” do in a pinch.
Food source: Have fishing pole, with a little survival kit – purified water, or create a rainwater collector on board. It could provide some TIME for thought. Occasionally you might be able to grab supplies near shore, but the final destination is where i’m going…

OFFSHORE OIL RIG!
Yes, this has the right amount of space, protection, points of entry are few, energy independence, it’s away from human contact, any zombies that you kill float away or get eaten by fish. (of course, zombie fish would be something else entirely – THAT could prove
problematic) However, most rigs would probably have everything you would need. With a boat, you could forage for supplies near coast lines, scout the area somewhat, and at least have warning of any threats. Then again, if they are able to swim underwater and come up
from below – and then try and pummel your boat – you may be in a world of hurt. This would be the “con” of having a boat, I suppose.

Side note: military bases would be a nice starting point as well. organized defense/attack, firepower. However, most bases are open spaces and the buildings are not meant to withstand a zombie attack – they are just buildings. still, good place to grab stuff and go.

This has not been addressed, but if zombie virus is blood born then using a sword or gun COULD lead to infection with splatter – so without proper clothing, just hacking at someone could easily lead to YOU being infected as well. Also,my fiancee pointed out that initially people would run to others that are hurt, thus spreading the disease quite effectively and rapidly.

in addition to my post above: the question is both “could it happen?” and also, “if it did happen, how long would it last, what would the zombies behave like (within reason)?” Some things just seem outside the realm of possible: if zombies just shambled, would it be all that bad? My thought is no: you could see them coming and the virus itself (in my mind it would be a virus), while at first outbreak could impact quite a bit, it could also be contained easily. Therefore, I was trying to make some logical assumptions to what zombies could do to make it actually be an apocalypse and not just an outbreak.

I just read about the blood spatter argument, a thought I hadn’t considered (thank god for “dexter”). I mean, sure you could hack and slash – but imagine the horror to find out that paper cut you got earlier in the day wasn’t covered. Uh-oh, zombie-o. Another thought: What if you shot and missed or grazed at a fast approaching zombie? What about 2 or even 3 or more? From different directions? That to me not only seems more likely, but also more terrifying.

Zombies throwing themselves against a barricade, without thought of bodily harm – they could really do some damage to a structure that was once thought sturdy. A brick house could be torn down literally brick by brick very quickly. That house all boarded up? Child’s play to a determined assault. “28 days later” is a true nightmare, and immensely harder to live through.

another aside:
From watching “walking dead”, some of my above comments seem to correlate to the show. The show noted that zombies smell “live people” better and the zombies foraged for animals after not finding a food source.

I just hope the show provides the audience with a more intelligent premise than shambling zombies that can’t climb ladders but somehow find a chainlink fence easily surmountable. If I can’t have my apocalypse, I might as well live vicariously through the show.

Also, “cracked” seem to get it right about a zombie apocalypse…from a guy’s perspective:(so what if it is humor, it’s sadly accurate humor)
http://www.cracked.com/article/136_5-reasons-you-secretly-want-zombie-apocalypse/

My parents’ house. They’re mildly remote, have a decent stockpile of food and ammo, hunting, trapping, and fishing nearby, and near a gun club.