General Question

KatawaGrey's avatar

To those on fluther who are neither heterosexual nor homosexual, do you tell someone you want to date that you are bi/pan/omnisexual before you get serious, as you're getting serious or after?

Asked by KatawaGrey (21483points) March 30th, 2009
8 responses
“Great Question” (0points)

I find that my personal sexuality does not always come up until after I have started dating someone, unless I have been friends with that person for a while. No one has ever had a problem with it and no one has ever felt that I was being dishonest by waiting to tell them until we had been in an established relationship. I’m just wondering how the others on fluther who are attracted to more than one sex handle telling their SO’s about their unique sexuality.

Observing members: 0
Composing members: 0

Answers

Cardinal's avatar

Uh…....if you are neither heterosexual nor homosexual, whats left?

Holden223's avatar

I tend to lay it all out. I guess I am bi-sexual by default. If I’m talking to you and the “conversations” are leading to a romantic excursion in this game of life, than you’d have spent enough time with me to know that I don’t factor a person’s sexual organs when trying to deduce wither or not I’d like to spend some good times with the person.

fireinthepriory's avatar

I usually date my friends, or people who I know well enough for them to already know. Or I have thus far! So it’s always been something they know before we start dating. But if I started dating someone who didn’t know I think it would come up pretty soon into the relationship… Especially if they were a guy. I would NOT be able to handle a hetero relationship with a guy who isn’t cool with the gays. I guess thinking about it, I might be a little more tentative about it if they were a woman since lesbians can be a little bi-phobic when it comes to relationships.

@Cardinal…Really?? This will get complicated fast. May I recommend reading up on the Kinsey Scale for starters? Then we can get into the more advanced queer theory…

elijah's avatar

I don’t discuss my past sexual experiences with someone I just started dating. I don’t think it matters right away. I don’t consider myself bisexual, because allthough I like women, I can’t see myself having a full blown relationship with one. I am sexually attracted to women, I fantasize about women, but I want a relationship I want a man. Im not sure what its called, but i dont really need a label. So long story short, if I’m dating someone (male) I will at some point tell them I am attracted to women, but it won’t be right away.

aneedleinthehayy's avatar

like holden, being pansexual is so much a part of my life and who i am, the fact that i’ve had relations with the same sex usually comes up almost right away with the people i date, before i start dating them. if not, i make a point to casually bring it up somehow. i’m pretty coy. i don’t like to be like, “HI I’M PANSEXUAL, YOU?”

KatawaGrey's avatar

These are some good answers so far. I was just wondering because I have felt a tad dishonest when not making it known until after the relationship has gotten kind of serious. As I said, this has never been a problem. However, a question asked last night made me wonder if maybe I wasn’t doing things right. I just wanted to see what others said.

timeand_distance's avatar

Before things get serious. I’m pretty damn open with my sexuality, so.

Shegrin's avatar

If they ask, I tell. Otherwise, it shouldn’t be an issue. I’m with them at that time, and that’s where it ends. If I love someone, I will go to the end of the earth for them, regardless of who I’ve been with in the past.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

Mobile | Desktop


Send Feedback   

`