The dreaded “I just want to be friends,” statement. God, when I was in high school, that was just the worst! And it happened way too often. I felt diminished and made second class. Out of honor, I tried to be friends, but it was never the same. She had turned me down. There’s no way around that. You just can’t stick around with someone who has turned you down.
I don’t know if women appreciate this. Do you know how hard it is to ask or to say you’re interested? Do you know how crushing it is to be told, “no?” After that, it’s pretty much torture to be around you, yet you want to be “nice.” You don’t want to hurt my feelings.
I’m sorry, but you already have, and in a way that is probably the worst kind of hurt there is, short of breaking up an actual relationship. As Jeruba wisely said, we’ve been fantasizing about this for ages, and working our way up to asking, and our dreams are dashed, and really, they have to be mourned, and to mourn them in the presence of their cause is pure torture.
It is no gift to be “friends.” I’m sorry. I think your friendship is over. The kindest thing you can do is to just let it be over, and not see him any more. Not even as a friend.
It’s possible that he may be willing to do this, but eventually, I think, he’ll realize it’s bad for him to rub salt in his wounds. I don’t know if you can bring yourself to do this, but please, let the friendship go. It is kindest for all.