I didn’t think that I would ever cut family out of my life as family is extremely important to me. But my sister and her hubby adopted 3 foster kids and instead of seeking help with the adjustment of the adoption, my sister decided that tough love was the way to go. This was especially true for the oldest, who was 6 at the time of adoption. I spent hours and hours and hours trying to talk her into a more gentle way of handling that poor child, but she refused to let up.
Things came to a crisis point after my mother died. I was staying with my youngest head injured sister while my mother was in intensive care and after she died as I live 6 hours away. I saw things that made my stomach turn. A few weeks later her alcoholic husband kicked my son in the hand in an alcoholic rage. He was wearing steel toed boots. I don’t think he meant to kick him, but he was raging at the time.
After call after call to child welfare and their inaction, I just couldn’t talk to my sister any more. She would constantly tell me what an evil child this kid was. I spent so much time worrying about him and it started to effect how I was coping with my own life.
Child welfare did get involved, but too late. This poor kid has been traumatized for life.
I stopped talking to her, but every 3 months I get an overwhelming urge to find out how she is and how the kids are. I’ve indulged that impulse a few times and I’ve been upset for weeks after.
I wish I could take those kids.