Touch is integral to our survival. We need it to survive. We convince ourselves and our bodies to survive just fine without very much touch during the strength of our youth and adulthood, but to see where it benefits us the most, we must look at the effects of nurturing touch on those that are immune suppressed or have weak immunity.
Look at the studies done on the positive health effects of nurturing massage on infants (ignore the first listed study, as it’s the only one on non-humans) and the elderly, as well as the terminally ill and the suffering. When we are unhappy or hurting or sick, we wanted to be nurtured and cared for by another. I believe this to be an evolutionary survival trait to crave touch.
I came from a no-touch no-hugging family, and dove headfirst into massage school (the input I got from the family is “how can you stand to touch so many people?”). I resisted and fought and disliked being touched by strangers for so long, but I couldn’t ignore the effects I was having on others and the changes I was making in their health and their lives. I couldn’t ignore how healthy touching other people made me. The difference was noticeable.
To wrap it up… people spilled their lives out to me while I rubbed out their tension. I said nothing and listened, just absorbed it all. People would weep on my table because I was a safe stranger. The combination of nurturing touch and being an unbiased listener who actually gave a shit about this stranger is what people paid me for. I provided something in their lives that they couldn’t find in their friends and loved ones because we are raised in a society who thinks touching—> intimacy—>sex, when sometimes all we need is somebody who gives a shit, who will hold them, who doesn’t want to get in their pants or want something from them, or has an ulterior motive.
Ok, to try to sum up a second time… sometimes the best thing we can do for the well-being of our fellow humans, is shut the fuck up, hold a hand, and listen.