We had a weird mix. I always knew my mom loved me, but she wasn’t the most affectionate person, which is changing now that she’s getting older – especially since my dad passed away. I do know that I get my non-touchy ways, from my mom. I am working on it, I want my children to know that I’m not the odd mom that has a hard time hugging. I never deny affection, but sometimes, yeesh! I’m just bad at it. Anyway, the one emotion she didn’t have a hard time with, was anger. Major temper. Again, she’s mellowed. That is something that I’ve worked hard on to keep from the kids. I hated never knowing if my mom was going to blow. I didn’t tell her things, because of it. I went to my dad. I figured it out, though. She dealt with fear, shock…well, any adverse emotion, with anger first, and then she would come to us and approach it in a reasonable manner. Tough for a 7yr old to understand. I’ve been able to not mirror that way of handling things.
My dad, he would hug – these huge bear hugs. Sometimes, I thought he was going to break my ribs. He showed emotions in so many ways. Humor, hugs, in his words, through his facial expressions. He didn’t hide his emotions.
Even with the differences, one thing my parents did, they let us know we were loved. Not always in the way a child needs to see or hear it, but we knew. What I have learned, is that neither of them had very loving parents – often abusive (on my mother’s side). My parents did a great job with not having parents that showed them a full range of emotions.