@rexpresso Very interesting, although I have a few points of disagreement. In a very humble way though, I think you have an interesting perspective (made me think).
First, I dont think passion is selfish necessarily – which one thing I learned is that there is a huge difference between selfishness and self-interest. There is a difference between having little to no regard for others and working towards the things you want in life (or love). Though it may not exactly benefit someone else, it doesn’t mean you lack care, consideration or compassion for others. I do recognize what you’re saying here and I wont deny that there even are selfish situations where an individual only cares about what they receive from another person – but I wouldn’t call this love or passion.
I dont think love in itself is altruistic (not to imply that altruism doesn’t or can not stem from it) and I dont think it’s fair to compare love in a romantic relationship with parent/child love. There are many other dynamics that exist in companionship love that dont or wouldn’t normally exist in parent/child or general personal relationships love.
I could agree with you that love is a devotion that is not concerned with the overall benefit for oneself. That is not to say that love negates mistreatment, reality or the well-being of oneself. Love isn’t completely mindless (though it could and often does provoke senseless behavior) and I think for the most part if you love someone (or people) there is a reason (even if you may not know it and whether it’s good or bad). Once that reason becomes entirely vague or nonexistent, I think it’s possible for that love connection to fade – or shift.
I look at love in a companion/romance type of relationship as more of a team based phenomenon. There’s no “I” in team – it’s our car, our house, our time and not mine or yours. That being said, if your own well-being is being neglected or abused – it’s your prerogative to speak up on behalf of the team and I dont think it would be the selfish type of passion you’re describing. If one person fails, the relationship fails and that’s why I think balance and harmony are imperative to the relationship. Sure, you could still love someone in a one sided relationship – but as I mentioned, that love endangered of becoming inactive.
I do agree with your last example but I would even extend that to a person stepping out of a relationship because either of them were no longer happy or fulfilled in the relationship.