When we sperm test our bulls.

don’t ask

Now that you’ve “said don’t ask”, of course I have to ask.

This is what we use to check our bulls’ sperm count.

<—Singing along and air guitaring to Rick Astley in the car while driving to class. I was doing my impression of him to boot. :)

The guy next to me gave me a weird look.

But I guess that depends on your definition of cool.

@Blondesjon You’re right. I shouldn’t have asked.

When you lift your son off the merry-go-round at the park, right after he just had lunch of chili cheeze hot dogs. Always carry an extra t-shirt in your car, along with a change of clothes for the kid.

@asmonet Actually, that registers as a fairly awesome moment in a way, despite Rick Astley.

Some days at work require me to bark loudly into a walkie talkie.

@hungryhungryhortence The walky talky is a legitimate work thing. I think you’re ok as long as you don’t have the bluetooth earpiece. That’s the kiss of death for sure.

When people watch me eat when I’m eating something messy.

I try not to make a mess and end up eating really, really fast…

@Blondesjon hmm, and if the power goes out, then do you have to do it manually?

Picking up dog poop. Driving my son to school in my bathrobe.
@Blondesjon I love that it’s called an ElectroJac. How appropriate!

Having to buy exlax at the supermarket and the cashier needs a price check.

I don’t know how you could look cool while pooping-unless maybe you had some really good sunglasses…

The washing machines I use are in a different building and I never put my bras in the dryer. I imagine I must look very strange walking across the courtyard with 3 or 4 wet bras dangling from my hand.

I just finished moving out. Combined with the rain, ugly moving out clothes on, and bags of clothes that kept breaking because of the rain (with some of my stuff going in the street ><) ... I’d have to say I looked pretty stellar. ;)

Having to buy monistat and tampons at the supermarket. Just monistat and tampons.

Anything that makes you sweat.

Getting stuck/tangled climbing in and out of the car. UGH. This is a daily battle for me.

Right after you trip. I am an expert at this! There is always that moment after it happens that you look around to see if anybody saw it. There’s no cool way to pull that off! I usually just laugh regardless of if anybody saw me or not.

When your child is throwing a huge tantrum, and either kicks or slaps you in the face. Totally not embarrassing at all ~
@jonsblond that’s what husbands are for. mine is forced to buy all the embarrassing products at stores mwahaha

Scooping lizard poops. There’s no way on Earth one could look cool doing that.

There is also no cool way to pull your underwear out of your butt.

Running outside in my underwear to close the gate because one of the lovely children left it open. It’s always the same. I slide the door open, dogs go out, then I notice the open gate, sprint through a poop land mine and hope I can get there before the dogs notice.

@elijah I bet some of your neighbors think you look cool if you’re in your undies!

Going to & from getting my hair cut. I do nothing with it before I go, & I just get it cut, so no styling before I go home. I look like a wet rat. I go directly home, ha.

It’s impossible to look cool while getting a pap smear

Getting knocked on my ass by a ewe while my dog and I are learning to sheep herd. Cracked my tailbone. Completely ignominious injury, especially at my age.

I find it difficult to look tough while sipping a drink through through a straw.

Carrying too much of anything: luggage, shopping bags, food, baby supplies, laundry, weight.

@critter1982…YES!!! I have said for years that it impossible for a man to look tough drinking through a straw. Lurve, Lurve, Lurve.

@Blondesjon I thought I was the only one! A man drinking through a straw is the biggest turnoff!
edited. Not THE biggest. But pretty damn big.

However, a woman can turn drinking through a straw into an almost indecently flirtatious act. Ah, yes, I remember it well…

When you are hooked up to a double breast pump and have had no sleep!

@Crick7 You just reminded me of when I had to take my breast pump with me to Lollapalooza in 1994. As I was going through security when we arrived, the person looked into my bag and did a double take. He then looked at me and said “I’m not even going to ask”, then proceeded to let me in. I felt embarrassed for some reason, though I shouldn’t have.

@jonsblond You are so awesome! Pumping at Lollapalooza is hardcore! Lurve!

@knitfroggy I don’t even want to think about that port a potty again. Not the best place to pump! All that wasted breast milk down the hole. :(

@jonsblond: But thank God I never had to pump milk in a porta-potty. :)