Yes, it happened and no, nobody asked. I didn’t even have time to think about it, because I was too busy trying to comfort my wife. So was everybody else. I think that in the whole pregnancy/birth/abortion/misscarriage spectrum the woman does (and rightly so) have a much more important role, not so much because of being the mother of the child involved, but because the situation affects her own body.
I do however feel that, in other situations, for example when my daughter needed to have an operation, the role of the father is often overlooked, and his feelings and needs neglected. I’ve had to fight for my daughter’s life every single day for the past 4 years, on my own, while my (now ex) wife is on TV playing a role and getting all the sympathy. She was never there once. All she cared was about how people felt towards her, not what actually happened to our child.
Ok I know mine is an extreme scenario, but for example in cases of loss (a had a 5-year-old cousin who got run over by a lorry), it’s still the mother that everybody looks to. She’s in the spotlight, pressured to feel, cry, ask for help, but also the one consoled and supported. Meanwhile, the father has to deal with his loss alone – my uncle went crazy and never recovered, even 30 years later.
Luckily for me, as with CutebutStupid, we did get our daughter a year later. And I’ve been too busy worrying about her to even remember the miscarriage.