I myself am agnostic, because being so makes the most sense to me and makes me the happiest. I’ll try to talk to you, though. Help you somehow.
By your general question – asking if voodoo is real and if it works, on top of the fact that you say you don’t think God is loving, this leads me to believe that you still think he exists, so it’s not a question of a belief. Voodoo, in a lot of people’s minds, represents an opportunity for revenge (which is not typical of the real religion, by the way), so I’m also led to believe that you experienced something pretty bad or multiple negative things, and you can’t make sense of why God would allow these things to happen, and you want to enact some kind of justice on your own. Am I close?