@RedPowerLady – I do realize that you did not sound like you were vilifying spankers. Your tone was one of moderation.
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I think the thing is, before people start pointing fingers at everyone and saying this way is the right way, not that – people have to take into account (I’m not just talking about spanking) different cultures. I think they have to take into account the religious beliefs of family. There are many factors, ones that some might not take into consideration.
Verbal, mental, physical abuse – there is a difference between parenting and cruelty. Being stern, isn’t abuse. Being an ass is.
I have intervened twice. One time a child was jerked up by the arm and spun around out of a lot of anger. A classic way to get a spiral fracture – common in abuse cases. However, I didn’t go over wagging my finger in judgment. Nor did I assume to hold a parenting class on the street. I really didn’t say anything about the actual action, I asked the lady where I could find an item. I didn’t need what I asked for, but I did want to break the tension. It was enough to let her know someone saw what was going on.
The second time, it was more of verbal abuse – heavy abuse. I did about the same.
The problem with intervening, you don’t know if that anger will be carried over to the house. Both times, I wondered what the true outcome was and worried that maybe I did the wrong thing. Street classes on parenting might cause more abuse; or, you have just accused someone of something that maybe you didn’t truly see what was fully going on.
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I have an aunt with Down’s Syndrome. She goes to a workshop, daily and is dropped of by a county driver at my parent’s house. A few years back, my father was reported for abuse, by the driver because of a situation he thought he saw. My dad always opened the side door for her (she went in threw the garage) and reached out for her lunchbox. This day, she lost her footing on the steps and to keep her from falling really hard and getting injured, my father grabbed her and pulled on her, hard, to keep her from falling. Now, part of the driver’s view was obscured due to some cabinets. What he saw was a man being ruff with my Aunt. Not a man saving her from danger.
A week later, my mom opened the mail, there was something from Social Services, DSS. It didn’t seem odd, since my Aunt’s program is through them; however, the letter revealed that they were being investigated – particularly my father, for abusing my Aunt. They were thoroughly investigated and eventually cleared; but, that didn’t happen until neighbor’s, co-workers, other family members (me) and friends were questioned. All because someone saw something that appeared to be abuse.
Keep that in mind while passing judgment on a situation.