Meditation helps. I’m not great at it yet, but I’ve only just started. Even if you get one second of being present in the moment and discovering how peaceful it is, that will help you to continue the discipline.
It also helps to truly accept that nothing is perfect, not the people or situations you’re making comparisons to. I think a lot of anxiety stems from not being able to cut ourselves any slack and for taking our lives selves and situations much, much too seriously.
And as for fear, ultimately it’s about being rejected or abandoned. No one’s going to do that unless you abandon yourself. Please don’t judge yourself harshly for making “mistakes” or “failing” at something. Even a baby falls on her bum multiple times before she gets that walking business down, right? It’s OK.
An anxious thought can arise in our heads, but we can choose to hang on to it or to stop and say, “Wait a minute, does gnawing on this help me? If not, then time to change the subject.” That takes practice, too, but it’s like learning any other skill.
Good luck. Know that there are millions of us going through the same things. It’ll be all right. Honest.