“Too long” means beyond a reasonable length of time, so yes, if one lives with his/her parents too long, it is a bad thing. How long is a reasonable period of time? It depends on the individuals, their relationship, their culture and circumstances. See ya….wtf (my initials)

Every year my son lives rent free in this house, is a year I will live rent free in his when I’m wearing diapers.
The clock is running.

By definition, too long is a bad thing. However, it depends completely on how the families feel about it. If the parents like having the adult child living with them, and it works out for the ‘chilld’ why would it be any one’s business to tell them is it wrong?

If the parties involved are not happy with the situation, that is bad.

I moved out of the house when I was 18 and moved away for college…I could never live with my parents ever again…I would lose all personal freedoms and sense of Independence.

You mean like someone over the age of 40 (or younger even) that is still living with their parents? I guess that could be a bad thing. Or it just shows that the person likes mooching off of mom and dad and that they have no responsibility or motivation to get a job, live on their own, and have a seperate life from their parents. I guess there could be extenuating circumstances although I can’t think of a single one at the moment.

Common sense should dictate what’s too long. An adult out of college, in the workforce, earning decent money should be paying their own cell phone, insurance and putting a roof over their own head. Being in school, juggling minimum wage jobs, it makes more sense to stay home if your parents agree, and you are willing to live by the house rules. You can knock off a lot of student loans living at home for awhile after graduation, which makes adult life a lot easier.

I think 18 can be too soon for most to move out, especially if you’re not financially responsible. You can dig a financial hole that will take you years to get out of if you’re not careful.

By 25, you should be living on your own. Living at home when you’re not in school but working carries the responsibility to look after yourself, not create work for your parent(s) and make a contribution to the household. And you should be working towards a plan to live independently.

Yes and no—if you’re the generation that is just getting into the workforce, you should probably expand how long you are willing to live at home. If you live at home for a year or two, you’ll build your savings up which (in this economy) is a great thing. Plus, being able to live at home or move home if you lose your job is really important right now. Honestly, half my friends have lost their jobs since the economy started taking a pounding. A bunch of them have had to move back home or engage in odd stopgap measures like going back to school for a degree they were uncertain about or simply earlier than expected (that’s me! I was planning on going back in a year, not right now).

Having that parental fallback is a very good thing at this point. It’s kind of embarrassing to say you still live at home, but you can always say you do it to save up your money (which should be true) and that you’ll get a place of your own when you have a good emergency fund tucked away. And it keeps you from ever having to move back home. That’s the really horrific thing a few of my friends are facing. Honestly, when I got told my job was in danger, I was really worried I would have to do that and it kind of felt like I was a failure at being an adult. If I already lived there, it would have been a lot easier in some ways.

I think it is. Italian-Americans used to take a negative view if their kids moved out on their own. And if you were an Italian-American female, you were considered a tramp (seriously).

But moving out is not only an adjustment for the kid, but also the parent (especially a single parent). And I think the longer you wait, the older the parent gets and the PARENT can develop a dependency and want (and frequently TRY) to keep you there forever.

Obviously the real question here is whether there exists such a thing as living with your parents for too long.

I would say yes. I think living on your own is an important step in the development of mental maturity and responsibility.
I’m also still with my old folks (22 summers). And whenever I’m home alone for a few weeks, I notice that when they return, I turn from the independent adult in charge of the house back into the son who relies on someone else to feed him.
Not to mention giving up again the freedom to stay up ridiculously late or decide what I’ll have for dinner.

My excuse for still living here is that it doesn’t suit my situation to go look for another place to live now. If it all goes according to plan I’ll study for one more year at a university I live close to now, and then look for a job. Which may or may not be near here. I’ll have different locational interests I can’t foresee yet.

I’m going to be 26 this October, and one of my options right now is moving back home so I can get a teaching certificate. Now, I haven’t lived at home for the past 4 years, and when I was in college I was only home for the summers. However, with the job market being the way it is, I would not be ashamed to live at home for a year or so to get a certificate. I think as long as both parties are in agreement and are OK with the plan (and you, the kid, have no intention of staying there for very long), I don’t see the problem.

It depends on the people, but it is usually very hard to establish yourself as an adult if you are still living at home.

You need to be independent of your parents. The longer you live with them, the more that is delayed.

It’s worse for single men. There’s a stereotype with guys that are over 30 or so and living with their mother.

it also depends where you live, in USA its seen as a negative, but in places like Italy or Spain continuing to live with your parents is really normal everyday stuff.

Your question is skewed by the words “too long” which immediately connotates that it IS a bad thing:

I moved out when I went to college, got married, blah blah, I moved BACK when I got divorced but I was also helping out with the house, both financially and with things that my Mother could not do herself. I stayed there till I married again. I live less than two miles from her house now I’m still helping her out with the stuff she can’t do (like clean the gutters, etc)