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Cupcake's avatar

When did you start having an "adult" relationship with your sibling(s)?

Asked by Cupcake (15502points) August 6th, 2009
20 responses
“Great Question” (2points)

I have a brother who is 9 years older than me. I remember when he called me crying over a relationship breakup. He told me all of the details and cried and cried and asked me for advice. When we hung up the phone, I was beaming happy. My brother had called me crying for advice. This was the moment that my brother treated me like a fellow adult.

Did you have a certain point in your relationship with your sibling(s) where you felt treated like an adult? Felt respected? The teasing ended? Your sibling relied on you/you relied on your sibling?

What was it?

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kenmc's avatar

For the most part. I have one sister, and we aren’t particularly close, but we can trust each other and share information on an adult level.

asmonet's avatar

Maybe a year ago or so. Dunno it’s off and on and largely dysfunctional. Then there are nights like tonight I gave my brother girl advice. No worries well fight again soon. :)

dpworkin's avatar

My brother was 9 when I left home, and I never really got to know him. He seems like an OK guy, but we live on opposite coasts, and I doubt I will ever know him very well.

AstroChuck's avatar

When I first read this question I thought it was addressed at West Virginians.
Anyway, no sibs for me so I’ll leave now.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

My siblings and I treated each other as adults fairly early on in life. It was mostly out of necessity.

jaketheripper's avatar

Im 19 years old. I have 3 brothers and a sister im really close to 2 of my brothers and i feel like we mostly have an adult relationship but some things i still don’t confide in them about its kind of strange

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

I have an adult relationship with my eldest brother. We treat each other as friends. Started only recently, as he and I became close of a twenty year hiatus. My adult relationship with my younger sister and second older brother is adult in that I don’t like them, I don’t want to be around them and I pretty much ignore them. They don’t like it because I don’t kowtow to their way of thinking, to which I say tough shit.

Jeruba's avatar

My sister and I were both over 21 before we were able to form a new relationship without childhood rivalries and sharp differences of personality between us. It was really nice to get to know her as a close friend and not just as a little pain in the neck.

sakura's avatar

I have an open and honest adult relationship with my 2 sisters (1 younger 1 older) a little bit less with my younger brother (10 years between us) but still respect him as a maturing adult! (he’s 21!)

Sibling relationships are strange aren’t they, good thought provoking question @Cupcake much lurve x

Palindrome's avatar

Whenever me and older brother would be somewhere we didn’t know anyone else, no matter how much bickering/arguing/fighting we did, he would act as a friend toward me knowing I was the only one he could really speak with. Also whenever he goes out and asks me for my opinion on his clothes, I feel like my opinion matters to him.

i know peeps say never say never, but the teasing will never end.

derekpaperscissors's avatar

I’m the youngest and my siblings moved when I was still in high school. They’re around 8–10 years older than me. So, even though we’re all pretty grown up by now. We have moments where we still kid around and revert to our childhood memories like teasing (or bullying) each other. What’s different though is we can talk about more mature things like life and our parents and religion and relationships maybe. Generally, we talk less nowadays though and can’t relate as much since we don’t see each other that often. We fight less too….either it’s because we’ve matured or maybe because we really don’t get to hang as often anymore.

Jack79's avatar

For us it was easy. I moved out of my parents’ house when I was 17 and my sister 14. We only started seeing each other again regularly when we were both around 30, by which time she was a real grown up, had taken over the family business and lived with a guy (who is now her husband). She was also quite mature, so I never treated her as a little sister.

mattbrowne's avatar

Age 20.

dynamicduo's avatar

I’m the oldest. My younger sister, only two years younger than I am, seems to keep fucking up her life in various interesting ways. I guess in a way we have an adult relationship, in that I agree with my mom’s choice of actions and not my sister’s. My sister has also had this mentality of having to “beat” me, or not do anything the way I do it even if my way is the best way, almost as if she feels the strong desire to prove herself to her family even though there is no actual need of this. Our relationship is strange for sure, but at least it’s a positive one.

sdeutsch's avatar

My sister is 6 years younger than me, and I didn’t really start seeing her as an adult until she got out of college. Until then, she was so used to being the baby of the family that whenever she was with one of us, she would revert back to letting everyone take care of her, so it was hard to see her as anything but a little kid. Once she was through college and had moved into her own apartment and had her own life, she started acting much more like an adult – it still surprises me sometimes, because it was such an abrupt change, but it’s great to be able to talk to her like an equal and know that she can handle the grown-up stuff.

shipwrecks's avatar

My brothers and I have never been close, but when they turned 14 and 16 years old, we started becoming much closer. Since they are only 2 years apart, they get along easily – but since I am 4 and 6 years away from them AND a girl, we kind of never had much in common.

For a while now, however, we’ve been getting along wonderfully. They have questions for me about girls, life, school, and since I’ve been there to experience it all, they feel comfortable asking me for advice. I even gave one of my brothers the sex talk and (using a banana) showed him how to put on a condom!

We went to 6 Flags recently (I brought my boyfriend and one brought his friend while the other brought his girlfriend) and we had such a good time going on all the rides and hanging out together.

OpryLeigh's avatar

My brother and I started having an adult relationship when I left home. I was 19 years old and he was 16 years old.

deni's avatar

i was never THAT close to my brothers before the past few years. i’m 20, they’re 25 and 27 so up til recently, the age gap was kind of a bigger deal. with my older brother i think it began when i flew out to san francisco to visit him and we smoked weed together for the first time. what a moving experience. :P

janbb's avatar

I’m 58. When will I start having an adult realtionship with my siblings?

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

What you are referencing is “respect”, and there are 2 types: Professional and Personal.

Professional Respect typically means your title and/or age. The president of a company will be shown more respect than a secretary solely based upon title. And it typically applies to siblings by order of birth in certain occasions.

More importantly though is Personal Respect. This, unlike a title, you earn through your words and actions. Professional Respect is understandable and sometimes needed, but often sets up boundaries. Earn the Personal Respect, and the gates open.

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