@mea05key Sounds like you have two things you want. You want to retain your privacy and your separation from the intrusion of people. And… at some level you realize that people and relationships are necessary for your own well-being. You see that you feel better and get more goodies when people are happy and delighted with your presence.
I can relate. But I’ve come to enjoy certain social opportunities. Here’s what I do:
1. I’m careful about what invitations I say yes to.
2. If I’m not enjoying a conversation, I try to duck out. (I could be better at this – I don’t want the person to feel there’s something wrong with them.)
3. I notice what social gatherings I enjoy, and go back!
4. I look for things to be fascinated with in people. For me, I’ve gotten way into the Enneagram, so I’m frequently listening for someone’s type as they talk. I can see that sometimes this is a defense mechanism for me. But hey, it helps me understand them and speak in their language, and I love it. Good luck!