I tend not to see things as definitive. My life is not that dramatic—or the drama happens over an extended period of time. I just went through a year or so where I experienced mental illness for the first time rather late in life. You’d think I might feel that to be a definitive experience. However, while it certainly changed me, I don’t see it that way. It is just another passage of the many I’ve experienced.
I’ve been unemployed three times. I’ve had to deal with infertility. Infidelity. Mental illness. I’ve had serious self-doubt many times in my life. In fact, I’ve never really felt good about myself. I’ve had to deal with parental disapproval most of my life (or, at least, that’s how I interpret lack of approval).
Any of these things might be seen as definitive, but the longer I live, the less important they become in comparison to all else that I have experienced. I don’t have explosive crashes any more. I’m just a slow-moving train wreck.