My sons, both in their twenties, tell me quite a lot about their personal lives. We have always had pretty open communications, and sometimes they ask me for advice. Sometimes they just want to talk, and I’ll ask, “Do you want me to comment or not?” or “Would you like a different view on that?” If they say no, I say nothing. I’ll give an opinion only if asked.
I am always on their side, even if I think they’re making a wrong choice (and I will tell them so if asked). I had my parents side with a boyfriend against me, and I have never really gotten over it.
I do respect the line, though, and if they want to tell me too much, I remind them that I’m their mother and they really shouldn’t be telling their mother everything about their lives. I’m not going to tell them everything about mine.
When my son broke up with a girl I loved, I knew he had his reasons. I told him I was sorry to see them part but I knew he’d move on and find someone he could be happier with. I still miss her two years later, but this wasn’t my relationship. It was his.
In other words, parents do not always have to invade the lives of their children.